


Can't get you out of my mind

by cicir



Category: Undertale
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gaster Blasters, I'll add more later., InteractiveStory, Near-Death Experience, SO, THE YOULEARNTOLIVEWITHIT alternate timeline where you are shipped with Gaster instead, TOOTH LIVES, burning building, depictions of... not violence but... getting hurt?, firefighter papyrus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 21:52:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6095182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cicir/pseuds/cicir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your vision faded more, and you knew that if you could laugh, you would have. You could barely see anything. Just the red glow of fire surrounding you, slowly morphing into pure white. </p><p>If time was slow a moment ago, it had stopped now. The white in front of you  twisted, melded with the dark, dripped like melting tar. </p><p>Formed a face. </p><p>It looked at you, panicked. Ah. You knew it was panicked, but you didn’t mind. You felt like greeting it, but at the same time not. You’d be gone soon, anyway. </p><p>"No. Stay with me, ______!"</p><p> </p><p>OR: The story where Tooth Actually Lives.</p><p>CGYOOMM.TUMBLR.COM <br/>This story's gonna be a bit more.... interactive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter!!!!
> 
> CGYOOMM.TUMBLR.COM
> 
> Please remember and follow this blog. This story will be much more audience interactive, as we are going on QUITE an adventure!

You heard the cries of your friend from behind you -cries of alarm, cries of worry, cries for you to come back- but it was easy to ignore them as you flew across the sidewalk, slamming into the door to your apartment. You shoved it open and sprinted in, heading straight for the stairs across the hall. Your feet move swift, but stuttered regularly, sending you stumbling across the floor, just barely catching yourself before you fell. Your head fuzzed constantly, sending you in and out of a panicking stupor. 

 

You knew how to handle this. You could handle this. Just keep running. You slammed into the wall across from the hall, and turned, bolting up the stairs. 

 

Buzz. 

 

You stumbled, slamming your face into the stairs with a very loud “Crack!” The buzzing in your head doubled in strength, and you stopped breathing. For a moment. Shakes wracked through your entire body, leaving you paralyzed on the stairs. 

 

You don’t know for how long. 

 

You came to, shaking your head a bit, and crawling to your feet. Blood covered the entire lower half of your face; your nose was broken. You coughed; smoke was already billowing from the second floor. It suffocated you, but you kept going, stumbling up the stairs. You reached the top, and turned. 

 

A wall of flames met you. You coughed, breathing labored. Your head buzzed, screeching at you. Telling you to turn back. You rebuked it, covered your face, and bolted straight into the flames. You just had to keep going. Keep going! 

 

You were weighless for only a second before you realized that the floor collapsed under your feet. You were falling. Your breath left your lungs as you reached out, trying to grab at  _ something.... _

 

Your hands came up empty.

 

Pain. White hot, searing, lung breaking pain split through your core, stealing your breath. You heard a snap. You  _ felt  _ the snap. 

 

The pain cut in half, and your mind screamed in alarm. “The bottom half of your body!” It screeched. “It’s gone!” 

 

Your vision blinked out, ears stopped working. All you heard was the faintest ringing. 

 

The pain stopped. Was this happening? Was this real? You moved in sedated slow motion, lifting your head, looking forward. You had to find the lower half of your body! 

 

Something was wrong. You couldn’t quite.... 

 

You reached out your shaking hands-were you really moving your hands? You were dreaming... You were dreaming....-and reached for the... the thing.... 

 

From the center of your torso, about 3 inches from the bottom of your solar plexus, was rebar. You grasped it in your shaking hands, vision beginning to fade again. That... Wasn’t supposed to be there... 

 

You felt the rough texture on your fingers, and didn’t. Everything was numb. You could feel the rebar in your fingers... but that was it. Nothing more. You would have let out a breath... if you could. Instead, you just shivered. 

 

You could feel yourself fading. The buzzing in your head numbed, replaced by nothing. Your shaking hands dropped; you couldn’t lift them anymore. 

 

Your peripherals were stolen, and the darkness around the edges of your vision only encroached more. 

 

_ With _ the encroaching darkness came something else. 

 

Peace. You felt Peaceful, almost wisely peaceful. You were weightless, didn’t need to breath anymore. Just to wait.  

 

To wait.

 

You were dying; you  _ knew  _ you were dying. In only a few moments... you would be nothing. 

 

You... You were fine with that. 

 

_ No you’re not.  _

 

But you were. You had your run... You were tough, but not tough enough to battle  _ this....  _

 

To battle death... 

 

_ You’re not dying here!  _

 

Your vision faded more, and you knew that if you could laugh, you would have. You could barely see anything. Just the red glow of fire surrounding you, slowly morphing into pure white. 

 

If time was slow a moment ago, it had stopped now. The white in front of you  twisted, melded with the dark, dripped like melting tar. 

 

Formed a face. 

 

It looked at you, panicked. Ah. You knew it was panicked, but you didn’t mind. You felt like greeting it, but at the same time not. You’d be gone soon, anyway. 

 

_ No. Stay with me, ______! I am devising a solution as we speak! _

 

Ah-! Something was tugging at you. Something near your core. It was soft, but insistent. 

 

_ I’m sorry! I’m sorry!  _

 

The insistent tugging grew in intensity, and slowly grew uncomfortable. You could feel your peace splintering at the edges. Minor streaks of alarm flashed in your brain. 

 

_ This is going to hurt.  _

 

It was no longer tugging anymore. Instead, it ripped. 

 

One sharp instant; one HORRIBLE pain, and time started again. 

 

The world came back. Burning, scorching, real. Your vision snapped back. Smoke filled your lungs. Noise started. 

 

Pain. 

 

PAIN! 

 

You screamed. Your hands worked again, and you reached up, grasping at your middle, clutching and pulling at blood-soaked cloth. Where was the rebar? 

 

Why were your hands glowing? 

 

Your head lolled to the side, eyes catching what they could. Nothing was right. You still couldn’t feel the lower half of your body. 

 

You were floating. 

 

There were  _ things  _ floating on either side of your head with you. Skulls. Huge, white, terrifying skulls with gaping maws and glowing energy at their center. 

 

Panic poked at the edges of your mind, an overflowing dam just  _ waiting  _ for the last straw to snap you from you stupor. 

 

_ You’re fine, _______. You’re fine.  _

 

You’re pretty sure you’re not fine. You were moving upward, fire passing over you harmlessly as you were brought through the hole in the floor you fell through only a while ago. The skulls swivelled back and forth. Finally, they looked up, and the energy in their maws seemed to quiver. 

 

And then explode. 

 

White hot beams, on either side of your head, shot forward. They obliterated the ceiling above you, leaving nothing behind. 

 

Oh. There was the panic. You tensed, your breathing was gone. Your heart pounded in your ears. 

 

_ You can’t afford an increased heart rate right now! Please! Calm down.  _

 

You tried to reign in your panic, to shudder in a breath. Smoke. It had  _ some  _ oxygen, at least. 

 

_ Just stay awake for me, okay? Stay awake! Stay awake for Tooth!  _

 

Tooth. 

 

_ Yes! If you stay awake, we can save Tooth!  _

 

Tooth. You could... You could still save Tooth! You shuddered in another breath, then a third. You held your panic back as your body floated again. From the second floor to the third. Down whatever was left of the hallway. You felt like a puppet as you hovered in front of Tooth’s door. The door slammed open, knocking off the hinges and falling to the ground with a shuddering thud. You wouldn’t know if your legs drug across the ground as you shot through the air toward Tooth’s bed. 

 

A piece of wall had Tooth pinned to the bed, and something... something like memory prickled at your mind. The wall was tossed aside just like the door, jostling you from your thoughts. 

 

_ Grab them. Don’t let them go. _

 

You did as commanded, wrapping your arms around Tooth. You couldn’t stop the scream that tore from your lips; It was only at this moment that you realized the state of your body. It hurt. It HURT!

 

_ Fight it. You have to hold on. I can’t keep my blasters and hold two people at the same time!  _

 

You clenched your teeth, hugging Tooth with all you had. The pain blurred your vision, brought tears to your eyes. You shuddered. Tooth seemed to twitch in your grip. 

 

You tried to speak, to tell Tooth it would be ok, but the only thing that escaped your throat was a croak and a cough. Another blast split near your head, cutting through the walls trapping you inside the building. You kept your arms tightly wrapped around Tooth as you floated forward and down. The speed you were going seemed to double, then triple, until you were hurtling at a breakneck pace straight for-

 

“HUMAN!” 

 

You barrelled straight into Papyrus’s startled arms; he wrapped them around both you and Tooth; you suddenly had weight again. 

 

_ You’re safe, for now, Resilient One... I’ll see you soon... _

 

You passed out. 


	2. Let me Read to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooth Graduates. You are with Gaster. You wake up.

Tooth’s family stopped receiving most letters and calls by the second month. You only got letters from Sam and Max at least once a week, and that was it. They piled up by your hospital bed, untouched. Tooth used to read them to you near the beginning, but it only made them sad. Their parents encouraged them to stop after they found them gnashing their teeth over your bed for the fourth or fifth time. 

 

Since then, the letters just piled up in a little wicker basket. It was okay, though, because by the sixth month, the letters frequency dropped to once a month, and by a year, they seemed to stop completely. 

 

At 2 years, Tooth graduated, and spent the night not at parties, but sitting at your bedside, hoping you could hear their words as they told you what it was like, knowing you just might never get to experience graduation yourself. 

 

“I changed my major,” Tooth had whispered, knowing they had never told you this before, “... after we knew you wouldn’t wake up, I changed it to yours,” they gnashed their teeth, and dropped their head to the bed, letting their soul throb in pain. “I’m going to do what you wanted to,” They promised. “I’ll be the best goddamn teacher in the entire world, you understand?” They rolled their head so they could see your face; it always looked so serene, it made Tooth’s soul hurt more. 

 

“And-” they choked out, “And when they ask me... when they ask me what gave me the motivation to keep going...” Tooth’s mouth closed, clenched, shook. “I’ll tell them it was for the bestest friend in the entire world. I’ll tell them... that you saved my life... Oh god-” 

 

They buried their face in your legs. “I’m so sorry... I’m so sorry...” 

 

“I thought I would find you here.” A voice called, and Tooth looked up. 

 

“Doctor!” Tooth nearly shouted, sitting up straight. The doctor, a stoutly little mouse monster with the kindest smile, walked further into the room. 

 

“You graduated today, did you not? Why aren’t you out partying?” 

 

“Well,” Tooth looked over at your catatonic state. 

 

“Your gratitude and love for your friend is boundless,” the mouse said in reverence, walking to the other side of the bed. “it’s endearing and inspiring.” 

 

Tooth smiled. “How has the research been coming along?” 

 

“Soundly, actually!” The mouse smiled at Tooth, and pulled out a little vial. “Dr. Alphys research on Human Soul Anatomy has finally come up fruitful. I believe we may have found a way to wake up your friend!” 

________________

________________

 

You wiggled your toes, staring at the pale digits scrunch and un-scrunch. The darkness swirled around your toes like cold water, and you felt shivers go up your spine at the chill. “This will never get old,” you mention, looking to your left. 

 

Gaster looked up from his book, adjusting his glasses and smiling at you. “Well. That’s good,” he answered, “this  _ is  _ your favorite image, after all.” 

 

You huffed a laugh, and closed your eyes, letting a breeze graze your face. You turned away from Gaster, kicking your feet back and forth a bit before opening your eyes. Shapes, figures, things you still didn’t quite understand despite staring at it for what felt like forever floated through the nothingness, bumping into or fading through each other. You squinted your eyes, trying to look further, and only seeing more and more things you didn’t understand. 

 

It was fascinating. You felt like your entire mind had expanded exponentially since you started your stay here. Or at least, your amazement did. Every Time you thought you’d seen everything, something new would flit across your eyesight, and you’d go back to gawking. the only thing that stayed constant in this world was the companion by your side. 

 

You reached out your hand, and he quickly took it, twining your fingers together. 

 

Yes. This is good. 

 

“How long do you think I’ve been here?” You asked, watching your breath swirl out of your mouth in a rainbow of colors before dancing away like scared fish. You laughed. 

 

“I wouldn’t know,” Gaster mused, closing his book and looking out into the nothingness with you. “It feels like forever and yesterday at the same time. Without watching your daily activities on Earth everyday, the concept of time seems to have escaped me.” 

 

“Heh. Makes two of us, then.” You smiled, leaning back until you were lying down. “Do you think everyone misses me?” 

 

“Most likely. You  _ are  _ a bright smile in a dark world.” 

 

“Mmm. Why haven’t I woken up?” 

 

Silence. 

 

You turned your head, looking at Gaster. He sat there, staring into nothing, a frown touching his face. “Gaster. I’ve been here for who knows how long.” You pushed, shaking his hand with yours. “I’d consider you a  _ pretty  _ close friend by now. You can tell me.” 

 

“I’m afraid,” Gaster looked away for a moment, and then took a breath, turning to you and looking into your eyes. “I’m afraid it is most likely my fault.” 

 

“Mmmm,” you broke eye contact, looking up. You felt Gaster attempt to pull his hand from yours, but you tightened your fingers. “Why?” 

 

“.... I... I had to force my way into your mind in order to use my magic and get you out of the burning building... You were in a “seizure” for about 4 minutes, and the energy needed for the magic came from  _ your  _ soul. I’m afraid it may have been too much for you to handle.” His voice wavered, and he sounded guilty. You nodded. 

 

“I thought it might have to do with that... My seizures have never caused me to fall into a coma.” 

 

“I’m sorry,” He pulled his hand away and turned fully toward you. “I just didn’t want you to die!” 

 

“Gaster,” You looked at him with a smile. “If I had the choice between being dead and being here...” You looked up, and breathed, “I’d rather be here.” 

 

You heard Gaster chuckle, and you looked back at him, raising an eyebrow. 

 

“It’s just, you say ‘death and here’ versus ‘death and life.’ I found that humerous.” 

 

“Humorous.” You repeated, “You’re definitely Sans’s father.” 

 

“Hush.” He looked away with a purple blush, and you laughed again. 

 

It had been a very long time since you came here. How long, you weren’t sure, but definitely long enough that your conversations with your companion became more and more natural. They started stiff, confused, wary. You remember the “pink elephant” conservation, and the “house” you used to always create. 

 

After a while, you wondered what this place would look like  _ without  _ the little house. So, you let it go. And quickly pulled it back up again, immediately overwhelmed by the immeasurable nothingness and everythingness. Gaster had comforted you, and explained to you once more what this place was. After that, the two of you had worked together to slowly remove the “house” until you could stare at the open horizon and just gawk. It wasn’t overwhelming anymore. Well. It was still overwhelming, but in a good way rather than a, well,  _ not  _ good way. You still got overwhelmed sometimes, and found yourself scrambling for something  _ tangible _ to grab, just to ground yourself before you lost your mind. 

 

Gaster became that ground. You would clutch his shirt or bump into his side. On very rare occasions, you would sit in his lap, his arms wrapped around your midsection. Most of the time, though, you just held hands. Holding hands was good. 

 

“Do you think I’ll ever wake up?” you asked, rolling on your side and curling up a bit. You let go of Gaster only briefly to switch hands. He looked at you, and rocked your conjoined hands back and forth.

 

“I am unsure, to be honest.” he paused, a concerned expression settling on his face. “Do you want to leave?” 

 

“It’s not that I want to leave,” you closed your eyes, “As it is more I want to get you to your family.” 

 

A small gasp. 

 

“You do not need to do that!” 

 

“Sure I do.” You smiled, “you’re my friend. You deserve happiness.” 

 

“But...” he fell silent for a while, before he spoke again, low and slow, “this part of your personality is what got you here in the first place.” His hand tightened around yours, “Can’t you live for yourself for once?” 

 

“That would be boring,” you complained, squeezing his hand back. “All I want is to settle in a cute little home somewhere and have a cafe I got to every day and order the same thing.” You laughed. “That doesn’t make for a very good story, if you ask me!” 

 

“Does life have to be a good story, though?” 

 

“Mine doesn’t,” You opened your eyes, and winked at him. “But yours does!” 

 

“That doesn’t make sense.” 

 

“It doesn’t have to.” 

 

“Yes it does!” Gaster pouted. You snorted, sitting up. 

 

“Gaster,” you chastised with a smile. “You want to see Sans and Papyrus, don’t you?” 

 

“Well...” 

 

“I was  _ there _ , Gaster. I had them as friends. I just need to wake up, and find a way to get you out of my head!” 

 

“It’s not that easy.” 

 

“Sure it is!” You grinned at him. He huffed, looking away from you, muttering about how stone-headed you were. You nudged him with a laugh, then stopped. 

 

Something felt off. 

 

Something felt.... painful!

 

“Gast-” you choked; you couldn’t feel the lower half of your body! Gaster turned to you immediately, concern ridden at the tone of your voice. You sucked in air; breathing became labored. “Gaster-!” You managed. Your chest burned, your legs were useless. You fell backward to lying again. Gaster scrambled around till he was right in front of you, eyes wide. 

 

“What’s wrong?” His hands hovered over your body. Your hands shot out, grabbing his and holding tight. 

 

“It hurts-!” You choked out, tears welling in your eyes. 

 

“What hurts? You have to be more specific!” Gaster’s eyes were filled with panic; you could see his chest rising and falling extremely fast, his eyes flicking around your body, looking for something,  _ anything  _ that was wrong. He was getting fuzzy around the edges. 

 

“No no no I don’t want-” You blubbered, watching Gaster slowly fade away. His voice came to you muffled, and your chest hurt. “No please- No- It hurts-” 

 

Everything went black. 

 

__________________

__________________

 

You opened your eyes and your mouth at the same time, letting a scream rip from your lips. The only thing that came out was a croaking gurgle, tears streaming down your face. 

 

“Doctor! You didn’t say it would hurt! She’s  _ writhing!”  _

 

Tooth. Tooth! 

 

Your eyes flicked around until you found your frantic friend to your left, holding onto your hand and shouting at someone you didn’t care about. Tooth was right in front of you. It had been so long!

 

And... they were in a graduation outfit! 

 

Tooth looked down, and upon seeing your eyes on them, let your name slip from their lips. “Oh my god you’re actually awake. Oh my god!” They squeezed your hand, leaning forward and planting slobbery kisses all over your face. You would have laughed if you weren’t in so much pain. Tooth always kissed instead of hugged: it’s kind of hard to hug when you have a head bigger than your body. You croaked, trying to say their name, but unable. The sound from you seemed to snap Tooth from their blubbering joy, and they snapped into attention. “Oh! Do you want some water?” 

 

You croaked. 

 

“I don’t- I’m going to take that as a yes.” 

  
“No be careful. Just get an ice cube or something. She won’t be able to drink.” The unimportant voice called out, and Tooth paused, looking at them. “She hasn’t used her throat in two years. Do you expect her to-” 

 

You croaked again. Two years! You were gone for two years!

 

“Fine. Ice Cube.” Tooth said, and quickly scurried away, leaving you alone with the unimportant voice. The doctor, you guessed. 

 

The voice entered your view, and confirmed your suspicions. The doctor looked you in the eyes, and gave you a kind smile. “Ah. You’re cognisant, based on the look in your eyes. That’s surprising, to be honest. You sure are a kicker,” They said, scratching the back of their neck. “Two whole years you were here. You’re pretty lucky Tooth’s family is rich.” 

 

You croaked. 

 

“Heh. I didn’t think the Resilience Serum would actually work. Guess Dr. Alphys really turned around her research then, huh?” The doctor looked away with a smile. “Amazing.” They looked down at you in pity. “You are still in for a rough ride, though...”  

 

“I got the ice!” You heard Tooth again, and croaked. Ah. That hurt. Tooth practically pushed the doctor away, holding an ice cube to your lips. You weakly opened your mouth, and they let you lap at it. 

 

Ah~ sweet relief. It wet your tonsils, and relieved the pain in your throat. You let Tooth take away the ice from your mouth, and opened your mouth-

 

And croaked. 

 

“Ah,” Tooth sounded disappointed, looking over to the doctor. “That’s... normal, right?” 

 

“Yes,” the doctor replied. “She hasn’t used any piece of her body for 2 years. A lot of the body suffers immensely from that.” The doctor walked up to you, pressing a finger to your neck. “We’ve used as much magic as healthily possible to keep her-.. _ your _ muscles from deteriorating, but to be honest,” the doctor looked at you with sad eyes, “ you may never be able to speak again.” 

 

Your eyes widened, and a heavy weight dropped onto your chest. 

 

“We had to concentrate on more vital areas. Your organs, spine, chest, muscles. Your vocal chords did not take heavy precedence over your life. I apologize.” 

 

You tried to swallow, but just coughed instead. You could barely breath. 

 

You wanted to go back to Gaster. 

  
You didn’t want to be awake anymore. 

 

“We really need to run you through some tests, though. To see just how good or bad you are. Tooth?” The doctor looked at Tooth, who seemed shaken to the core. “I’m going to have to ask you to let me do my job. It shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours, but it’s crucial to check her state.” 

 

No. No Tooth. Don’t leave. 

 

“Y-yeah,” Tooth looked at you, then at the ground. “O-okay...” and they shuffled out. 

 

No. No you don’t want to be alone! Please! Please! 

 

The doctor looked at you with a grimace. “I’m going to start checking your vitals and such now. It shouldn’t take long. Then we’re going to run you through a few tests.  An MRI, a CAT scan, an EEG and an EKG. Just a few to make sure you’re working right, alright?” You just blinked. “I’m going to take that as an affirmative.” 

 

Your mouth pulled into a grimace, and tears leaked from your eyes. You were scared. This was terrifying. You didn’t want to be alone. You didn’t want to be here anymore!

 

_ Don’t worry, Resilient One, I am here.  _

 

Your breathing calmed down almost immediately, and you could feel yourself relax. 

 

_ Did you think I would leave you?  _

 

You coughed out one laugh, blinking the tears away. The doctor lifted your arm, and slipped a blood pressure cuff on it. 

 

_ I am a much more stubborn figment of your imagination than that.  _ Gaster mocked. You smiled. The cuff began to puff up. 

 

“This may hurt just a little, your skin is extra sensitive.” the doctor warned, and you tensed up. 

 

_ I’m not leaving you alone.  _ Gaster spoke in your mind,  _ you can hold my hand, if you want.  _

 

You nodded, flexing your hand for just a moment before realizing Gaster was not there. You stopped, hoping the Doctor didn’t think you were crazy. 

 

_ Ah. It’s probably not the same with me not with you, is it? Well... I will have to think of a different way to help...  _

 

He fell silent for a moment, and you felt your panic rising again. 

 

_ Oh. Dear. maybe I should just keep talking?  _

 

You nodded. The doctor paused from their reading to look at you for a moment. You made eye contact, but stayed silent. They blinked a few times, and then quickly looked away, shaken. 

 

_ Well then. I was reading quite an interesting philosophy book. Shall I read that to you?  _

 

You nodded. 

 

_ Very well.  _ Gaster cleared his throat,  _ “ _ _ We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light....” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it's dark. 
> 
> It gets better? 
> 
> I swear? 
> 
> CGYOOMM.Tumblr.com


	3. 2 days. It took two days for you to get antsy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You find your new home. 
> 
> Aaaaand.... 
> 
> nah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cgyoomm.tumblr.com
> 
> READ THE NOTES AT THE END!

“I can use my magic again!” Gaster paced, hands folded behind his back, face scrunched in concentration and worry. 

 

“Gaster.” You watched him pace, sitting on the ground and constantly wiggling your toes. They twitched oddly sometimes, making you frown. 

 

“If my magic just removed your Resilient Soul-Power the first time,” 

 

“Gaster,” 

 

“And it did nothing to harm you physically, well other than expected that is, but who cares what happens to your body over  _ there  _ if-” 

 

“Gaster.” 

 

“Well either way i could just summon the blasters, remove your soul magic, and then you’d be able to stay here!” Gaster turned from his pacing to smile at you like he had just discovered the cure to cancer. You sighed, giving him a gracious smile, and wincing as realization flitted across his face. His excitement quickly dropped. 

 

“You’re going back.” He said flatly; you nodded. “But why?” He demanded, “You’re so  _ miserable  _ there!” His face contorted more and more, until you were absolutely sure you have never seen him so upset. “You’re not going back there for me, are you?” 

 

“I’m sure it’ll get better with time,” You argued. 

 

“Better with  _ time?”  _ Gaster repeated incredulously, “Did you see how differently everyone treated you when you began to have seizures? What about  _ now? _ You’ll be an  _ outcast! _ ” 

 

“So?”  You laid down, looking up at the familiar nothingness. “I’ve been alone with you for 2 years now. I can handle a little loneliness out there too.” 

 

“It’s different out there.” Gaster sat down next to you, pouting. 

  
“By how much though?” You leaned back on your hands, looking up. “I’ve seen what feels like  _ everything _ here. I don’t think much can surprise me now.” 

 

“You’ve experienced everything that  _ isn’t  _ over there.” Gaster argued, leaning back as well, resting his hand over yours. “You’re literally prepared for anything  _ but  _ real life.” 

 

“Shhhh. I’ve still got you.” you looked to him and winked. He frowned, blushing. 

 

“It’s not the same, though.” He pat your hand a few times, and then squeezed it, “I can’t do this.” 

 

“I can still hear your voice, though.” You looked up again, and Gaster hummed. 

 

“You do realize people may think you’re crazy for talking to the voice in your head, right?” 

 

“I don’t care. I like your voice.” 

 

“That makes you sound like a stalker.” 

 

“Gaster.” 

 

“Sorry.” 

 

________________

________________

 

You took a breath, eyes trailing over the open street in front of you. The sun tickled your face and warmed your shoulders, pulling a smile to your lips. Finally, after 2 months in that hell-hole of a hospital, you finally finished physical therapy (or more aptly,  _ quit  _ physical therapy), and checked yourself out of the hospital. Tooth stood behind you, looking out at the street as well. 

 

“My parents should be here soon. I would have driven if I had a license, but.. y’know. No eyes.”

 

You looked back at Tooth, pointing at your eyes. 

 

“The DMV doesn’t believe that I can see.” You nodded, looking forward again, shifting a bit. The wheelchair rocked back and forth under you. You felt a hand on your shoulder, and looked back again. Tooth smiled for a moment before grabbing you under the shoulders, and pulling you up a bit, settling you more easily in the chair. You tightened the belt around your waist, then touched your chin before moving your hand outward. 

 

“You’re welcome,” Tooth answered. You put your hands on a wheel so Tooth could let go of your chair, and ushered them to your side. They did, giving you a large smile. You returned it. 

 

You’ve been learning ASL for about a month and a half now. Tooth had suggested it, and once your arms were strong enough to move around regularly, you and Tooth began learning together. You knew... enough to get your basic needs across. “Thank you,” “bathroom,” “Hungry,” “You’re welcome,” “Help,” The usual. Tooth knew those as well, but fell behind you rather quickly. 

 

Mainly because Gaster walked you through most signs while you were awake, and taught you more while you were asleep. You remember your surprise when he suddenly pitched into a conversation, telling you how to sign “Fuck off” to a doctor that was especially... handsy. You had laughed first at his indignant voice, and then asked him how he knew sign language. He explained that the child that opened the barrier spoke in sign, and he watched them enough that he got interested. So he taught himself. You expressed how impressed you were, and he got quiet for quite a while. Either way, you were kind of proud of how much sign you knew for only practicing for a month and a half. Maybe it was out of necessity that you learned so quickly, but still. 

 

A car appeared down the street; you pointed it out, and Tooth nodded. “Yeah, that’s them. We’re going to their mansion before we go to my house.” They pat your shoulder for a moment. “I got one with 2 rooms just in case you... y’know...” They looked away, “ever woke up...” You lifted your hand, placing it on theirs and looking at them with a kind smile. They returned it, taking a quick breath. “Sorry. I’ll not be a downer anymore.” You nodded, looking at the street again. The car- a hummer Limo of  _ course-  _ stopped in front of the hospital. You wheeled to it as the chauffeur stepped out, and opened the door for you and Tooth. 

 

You frowned, wondering how you were going to get into the car when the chauffeur simply  _ lifted  _ you out of the wheelchair, and plopped you into the hummer.

 

Oh. 

 

Well that felt degrading. 

 

_ It is degrading. I could have helped you there.  _

 

How is that any less degrading? 

 

_ Because i’m your friend, of course.  _

 

That doesn’t make it any less degrading. 

 

_ I’m hurt.  _

 

You rolled your eyes, adjusting your useless legs and buckling yourself in, looking up only when you finished fiddling with the buckle. Two faces... err..  _ mouths _ looked back at you. You blinked, blushed, and waved. 

 

_ Eloquent.  _

 

Shutup. 

 

_ Must I though?  _

 

“I know this is the first time we’ve seen you,” the slightly larger of the two monsters spoke up, patting their partner’s leg, “and this probably isn’t the most formal place to do this, but we both wanted to thank you for saving our child.” 

 

_ Two years later.  _

 

You shook you head, waving it off. 

 

“No, it’s not a small deal,” the smaller one said, their mouth pulling downward. “You ran into a burning building, broke your spine and suffered from  _ severe  _ brain damage just to save our little one.” 

 

_ Brain damage... Is that what they consider me? Tch. You don’t have brain damage.  _

 

You nodded. The two mouth monsters smiled at your response. “We paid for your hospital stay, and got you the best doctors money can pay for in an attempt to keep you alive.” 

 

_ But they let you deteriorate. And lose your voice. And you’re paralyzed...  _

 

“There isn’t much more we can do,” the other one continued, “but you do have a bank account with about 15,000 dollars, and a place with Tooth to stay. All of your previous items are already there. We also offer you our continuous thanks.” 

 

You blushed, looking away. The door on the other side of the car opened, and Tooth entered. “Are we ready to go?” they asked, and all three of you nodded. “Great! Then let’s go!” 

 

_ They are kind. I like them.  _

 

You smiled, looking down. You liked them too. Or more. You liked Tooth. 

 

_____________

_____________

 

“Home sweet home!” Tooth exclaimed, wheeling you through the front door. “It’s not super big, but it’s larger than your old home.”

 

_ That is the understatement of the year.  _

 

You looked around. It was a full sized one story home complete with a giant living room. You looked to the left, listening to Tooth as they spoke. “Over there is the hallway leading to your room. It’s to the left. Mine is right across from yours... Umm... you have your own personal bathroom, and it’s got a disability accessible shower and everything... uhh...” You looked around now. The entrance opened immediately to reveal a family room on the right, decked with a couch, a loveseat, and the  _ largest  _ flatscreen you’ve seen. You peeled your eyes away, looking forward instead, and... Was that a  _ master chef  _ kitchen? 

 

“Oh!” Tooth smiled, wheeling you toward the kitchen. “You know how much I like to bake... So Dad and Mom found a house with a  _ crazy  _ kitchen. It’s great, right?” 

 

You didn’t answer. Only gawked. You finally turned to Tooth, giving them the most “..why?” face you could muster. They laughed at your face, and parked you at the entrance of the kitchen. “Because I love cooking so much! Now I can practically cook  _ anything _ , and have all the needed stuff for it. For example,” They opened the fridge, burying their face in the icebox for a moment before popping out again. “A fully decked out ‘welcome to your new home’ cake!” They pulled their hands away from the fridge, revealing the  _ largest  _ cake you’ve ever seen in your life. 

 

_ I’m pretty sure if you eat that, you’ll fall into a coma again.  _

 

You agreed with Gaster, eyes wide. Was that... That looked like at  _ least  _ 5 layers! And with oreos on top, and the sides, and surrounding the base. That frosting looked like  _ pure diabetes _ . TOoth laughed at your agape mouth, and walked to the table, setting the cake down. “You hungry?” 

 

_ I’m saying this in utmost sincerity. I don’t think you should eat that. You may just die.  _

 

Fuck you Gaster. That cake is going in your stomach  _ yesterday.  _

_____________

_____________

 

You regret eating the cake. 

 

_ Hah.  _

 

You  _ really  _ regret eating the cake. No doubt about it, that was the best cake you have ever eaten in your life, but with that came your inability to  _ stop  _ eating the cake. One GIANT slice in, you were already full. Two slices in, your stomach turned upside down. 3 slices in, you were sure you were going to pass out right there at the table. Four slices, and Tooth cut you off, literally pulling the plate and the cake away from your grasp and wheeling you to your room. Unbuckling you. Asking you if you needed to go to the bathroom before they laid you down. Laying you down. Tucking you in. 

 

Now, you stared at the ceiling from your position on your bed, already feeling the discontent settling in your mind. 

 

Was this your life now? Relying on people to get you into bed, get you out of bed, help you to the bathroom? Was Tooth going to be your caretaker? 

 

You widened your eyes, breathing deeply, attempting to still the tears trying to escape your eyes. 

 

_ Little one... _

 

You didn’t want this! You didn’t want to rely on other people. You were strong! You were strong and independent and resilient-

 

_ So resilient.  _

 

-and you could do  _ anything,  _ but now you couldn’t even get out of bed... 

 

“I don’t know what to do, Gaster.” you mouthed, the sound of your lips parting and closing both consoling and upsetting you. 

 

_ Where would the fun be if answers came easily?  _

 

This isn’t fun.

 

_.... I am aware... I just didn’t know what else to say. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do either.  _

 

Heh. You sniffled. 

 

_ You could come back.  _

 

“No,” You thought, letting a tear fall. “I have a...” Your thoughts trailed off, eyes following little patterns and rivers in the knockdown. You licked your lips, a form of peace lifting a weight off your chest and letting you breath. “I have a mission.” 

 

_ I don’t like that tone of thought.  _

 

“With how protective you are,” You let a smile tickle your lips. “You’ll  _ never  _ like that tone of voice.” You winked, then blushed when you realized he couldn’t see it. 

 

_________________

_________________

 

_ This is ridiculous.  _

 

“Only because you say it is.” You huffed through your nose, your form of a chuckle. Your pencil scratching against the paper on your desk was louder than your airy laugh. 

 

_ Have you LOOKED at this list?  _

 

“Of course I have, I’m  _ writing  _ it, you goofball.” 

 

_ I’m just surprised you could write something so ludicrous.  _

 

“It’s not ludicrous!” You slapped your pencil onto the table, frowning. 

 

“You okay?” You heard Tooth call from... the kitchen? Yeah. That sounded like the kitchen. You knocked on your desk three times: your form of an affirmation. “Alright! Just checking! How does Chicken and Mushrooms for dinner sound?” 

 

Knock knock knock. 

 

“Great, because It’s already in the oven! Your room or the table?” 

 

Knock. 

 

“Okay! It’s almost done!” 

 

Knock knock knock. 

 

_ How is this list anything OTHER than ludicrous.  _

 

You looked at your list, and frowned. It seemed pretty logical to you. Check the library for information on the Nothingness, do some blogging and internet searching, figure out if there are any differences in your and Gasters connection since the coma, see if Gaster can still do magic through you, figure out what they did to wake you up (no matter the means)  _ just in case _ . 

 

Hell, you even had a list going for what happens  _ after  _ some of these in the list are fulfilled. If you found information, you’d follow up on it, continue research. If you found a possible lead, you’d use the money given to you by Tooth’s parents to follow it.  15K can get you pretty far, you presume. And if you could use Gaster’s magic, you could always find ways to get more money... 

 

_ How are you going to tell Tooth that you’re planning on leaving them to go chase a possibly impossible way to sunder yourself from, and corporealize the figment of imagination that haunts your mind, possibly by illegal means if you get to that point? _

 

.....

 

You’d think of that eventually. 

 

A small knock on your door warned you of the incoming monster; you turned your wheelchair and gave Tooth a wide smile. They returned it, and held out two plates of food. “Fresh outta the oven!” They walked to you, dropping your plate on the desk, and sitting on your bed. “It’s nice to be able to cook for someone. Bratty would have been ecstatic...” You huffed, remembering Bratty for a moment. It’s been two years; what was she doing now? “I’m sure she’s enjoying her life, wherever she is,” Tooth mused, spooning some food into their gaping maw. You followed suit, chewing contemplatively. Delicious as always. You wanted to say that you missed the food, but in honesty, it felt like you had eaten it only a couple of days ago. It still boggles your mind to think that you ate it more than 2 years before. 

 

“So,” Tooth asked between bites. Their voice was slow, almost careful. “What... What are you going to do now?” 

 

Oh. 

 

_ Eventually. Heh. Seems you’re going to have to explain your foolishness sooner rather than later.  _

 

The sarcasm rolling off Gaster’s voice was  _ palpable.  _ Your chewing slowed to a stop, and you looked at Tooth with a grimace. They met your gaze, and frowned.  “I don’t like that face.” 

 

_ Neither do I, Tooth. Neither do I.  _

 

The corners of your mouth tilted upward a bit, and you shrugged, taking a quick breath in. 

 

“You’re about to tell me something i’m not going to like,” Tooth provided, and almost moaned when you nodded. “You literally  _ just  _ woke up from a coma, and you’re already going to go out and do something  _ stupid. _ ” You nodded. They moaned again. “You know, I  _ just  _ got my degree.” they complained, finishing up their plate of food... plate and all. “I’d like to be able to  _ use  _ it for once.”

 

You raised your eyebrow, confused. 

 

“What, you think I’m going to just let you leave alone?” 

 

....

 

“I just got you back, ________, I’m not losing you again.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. FIRST INTERACTION WITH READERS
> 
> Think of this NOT of what you want to see in the story, but what you would DO. 
> 
> Things get dangerous soon. Would you let your best friend come with you? Or would you try to leave without them?


	4. My Son!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fucking library. Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I created a Tumblr for this baby. Just in case? I dunno. 
> 
> It's   
> CGYOOMM.Tumblr.Com
> 
> GOD this one was WRITERS BLOCK GALORE but Enjoy!

This wasn’t how this was supposed to go down. 

 

_ Obviously. _

 

You were supposed to finish up your list, do what you could from home, and then head out without a glance back. Tooth didn’t deserve anymore of your bullshit adventures. No one did. 

 

So sitting here in the library, a pile of books stacked on your lap, being pushed across the ground by a very chipper Tooth discussing possible theories on Determination and Soul Potential definitely threw you for a loop. You were still in debate on whether this loop was a good or a bad one. 

 

_ It’s good. Definitely good.  _

 

It’s also kind of funny, if you think about it. Here, two years later, and you’re back in a library, researching the same shit you were back then, but in a completely different city, a nearly completely different body, with a completely different companion. 

 

_ And a voice in your head, _ Gaster mocked, and you scrunched your face in response. 

 

And a voice in your head. Not like you had it before, but now it wouldn’t  _ ever  _ go away. 

 

_ I take offense to that. _

 

No you don’t. 

 

You released a huff of air as Tooth got you to a table; you lifted the pile of books from your lap, and spread them out on the table, choosing the most promising to be closest to you. Tooth sat across from you, grabbing a few of the books, and piling them in front of them in the same way. They looked at you with an encouraging look, and you smiled back. You could do this. It would just take some time. You huffed, and opened the first book, immersing yourself almost immediately. 

 

...

 

Dud. Nothing that could be helpful, and some completely incorrect facts that made Gaster guffaw in your mind. You dropped it next to you, and picked up the next. 

 

...

 

Dud. Same story, just written a little different. You dropped it on top of the first, and reached for the third. 

 

...

 

The fourth...

 

...

 

The fifth...

 

...

 

The sixth...

 

...

 

“Maybe we’re researching the wrong thing?” Tooth pitched in. You looked up, and saw them in the same boat as you; they had about 4 books left from their pile: the rest were piled haphazardly on the floor. “We already know everything there is to know about Determination and Soul Potential Theory.” They mused, “It’s been practically proven already, but no one uses it for anything other than nifty knowledge and explanation of success... Maybe we should be examining something more closely related to  _ you?” _

 

You pointed at yourself and raised your eyebrows. 

 

“Yeah, you!” Tooth said, pushing the books away and leaning forward. “Like. Why did YOU get Gaster in your head, ya know?” 

 

_ I’ve explained this to you already.  _

 

Yeah. Yeah. You know. You lifted your hands, and quickly spelled out what you knew Gaster was about to say. Tooth followed your fingers for a moment, and then frowned. “YOu have to go slower, I can’t keep up with your lightning fingers,” They complained, and you slowed down. R-E-S-I-L-I-E-N-C-E. “Oh.” Tooth mused, chewing on their lip. 

 

_ That  _ was an odd sight to behold: a face only made of a mouth chewing on their lip. Heh. 

 

You lifted your hands, and began to sign, but quickly stopped when Tooth frowned even more. Right. You had nightly lessons, so you were leaps and bounds past Tooth in learning this. You huffed, pulling out a piece of paper and pencil. 

 

“I was worried that we wouldn’t get anywhere with Determination or the Soul Theory. I guess Resilience already coincides with the Soul Theory, but none of these books talk about the different abilities that souls could have; just the possibility that they  could  have abilities.” You scrawled, and then pushed the paper to Tooth. As they read, you pushed the book you had just finished reading over the edge of the table, onto the pile of books by your left wheel. 

 

_ We already know you have an ability,  _ Gaster spoke. You could  _ TASTE  _ the impatience in his voice.  _ Instead of looking up Soul Theory, lookup Resilience.  _

 

“What if we looked up Resilience instead of Soul Theory?” 

 

Goddamnit it was like you had a parrot. You rolled your eyes, huffing through your nose and pulling the paper back. “There are none,” You scrawled, “I already checked last night online. Zip. Nilch. Nada. None. Absolute-” 

 

“Okay okay okay!” Tooth interrupted you by grabbing the paper from your hands and pulling it away from you. 

 

_ We get it. There aren’t any. _ Gaster finished for Tooth, even though they couldn’t hear him.

 

“So,” Tooth paused for a moment, “We just... do our own research?” They provided. You paused, looking up at them, raising an eyebrow. “You know, like... Do the stuff that they did to figure out what Determination did.” They shrugged, and leaned down, searching through the reject pile of books. After a moment, they pulled one out, and placed it back on the table, pushing it toward you. “This one is the most recent account of the Determination Research that happened about 6 months after you went under.” 

 

You looked at the book for a moment, eyes trailing to the author. You gasped; so did Gaster. 

 

“Apparently, Dr. Serif began researching it extensively after a friend of his got extremely wounded. Did a full analysis and scientific study. The Ambassador worked hand-in-hand with him too.” Tooth explained, but you were barely listening to him. Instead, you ran your fingers over the front of the book in awe; Gaster was silent in your mind. The author, Sans Serif, was printed on the front of the book. He smiled at the camera, holding a red soul in his hand, the Ambassador of Monsters proudly standing next to him. “His research followed the path completely opposite of Dr. Alphy’s, actually. Instead of recreation, he focused on extraction and control. Proved the Multiverse Theory as true along the way as well.” 

 

Sans. That was Sans! 

 

_ THAT’S MY BOY!  _ Gaster nearly screamed in your head, and you felt the most powerful wave of pride erupting from your very core.  _ MY BOY WROTE A BOOK! _ You huffed in bubbly laughter, weird squeaking erupting from your useless vocal chords. Tooth looked up, mouth agape as you stared at the book in glittering wonder. You looked up at Tooth, mouth agape as you continued to laugh. You quickly finger-spelled, “SANS!” Which only brought a confused look from Tooth. 

 

Right. Tooth never formally met Sans. 

 

“I’ve met him!” You signed, keeping it simple both in your excitement, and for Tooth. “Friend! Son!” 

 

“He’s your son!?!?” 

 

“No! Yes!” 

 

“What?” 

 

“FRIEND! Gaster son!” 

 

“Okay! He’s your friend, and... Gaster’s...son?” 

 

“YES!” 

 

“Oh my god.” 

 

“Get book.” You signed, plopping the book in your lap, unlocking your wheels, and pushing away from the table. You turned, wheeling yourself to the front of the library, Tooth trailing behind in a bewildered haze. 

_______________

_______________

_ “ _ My son changed the WORLD!” Gaster paced back and forth, practically emitting  _ light  _ he was so excited. You laughed as you watched him, kicking your feet back and forth and just enjoying his fatherly pride. Gaster turned to you, and gestured to himself. “MY son! My SON!” 

 

“Your son,” you laughed, agreeing with him. He paused, beaming at you, and then continued to pace. 

  
“I can’t- I just- It’s my son! To think!” And suddenly, Gaster was sitting next to you, looking out into nothing just as you were. You jumped. “My son! Changing the world!” He gestured at nothing, fingers splayed and wiggling.

 

Oh my god. 

 

He’s adorable. 

 

You playfully pushed your shoulder into his, “Your son.” 

 

“My son!” He repeated, sounding like an amazed, but broken recorder. He was standing now, pacing once more. You nearly fell over when he disappeared, but you caught yourself with a hand, looking up at him. You’d be irked, but he was looking down at you with glittering eye sockets, and he was practically  _ quivering  _ in excitement. You decided to roll with it, lying down on nothing and raising an amused eyebrow at him. 

 

He seemed to realize his sporadic movements, and a blackish blush painted the bridge of his face. He looked away for a moment, and then found his way next to you, lying down. “I’m sorry,” he started, but you waved a hand. 

 

“Your son proved the Multiverse theory, and found a way to control  _ and  _ harness time travel for the evolution of both Human and Monster kind.” You interrupted him, “You have  _ every  _ right to be excited.” 

 

“MY SON!” Gaster shouted, hands shooting upward to the “sky.” You laughed, rolling on your side to face him, looking at his elated face. You had ‘lived’ with this man for over 2 years, but it wasn’t often that you got to see Gaster like this. He was normally so composed, calm, articulate. He was the one who would chuckle at  _ your  _ excitement. To see him so  _ proud,  _ so loud, so childishly happy....this was a gift in itself. 

 

You could feel your eyes soften as you looked at him, and a peaceful smile settled on your lips. Two different ideas tickled in the back of your mind, and as Gaster turned his head to look at you, you humored them. 

 

One: Gaster had to see his son. Not from your body, but face to face. Gaster had to hug his son, and tell him how proud he was  _ in person _ , and you were willing to do  _ anything  _ to get that to happen. 

 

Two: You loved Gaster. Truly, honestly, full heartedly loved him. You loved his smile, his wit, his excitement, his impatience and worry, his pouting anger, his snarky comments. You loved  _ everything  _ about him. 

 

His own smile softened when you made eye contact, and his voice petered off as his arms dropped to his side. He reached forward a bit, and found your hand, entwining your fingers together. 

 

Yes. You loved this man. Romantically or platonically, it didn’t matter: you were willing to  _ die  _ for W.D. Gaster. 

 

“He could help you, you know,” Gaster squeezed your hand, pulling you from your thoughts. You blinked. “My son discovered Determination, found a way to measure souls with Determination Soul Traits, and track their movement through time, making it possible to halt negative time travel and stabilize the timeline.” He turned on his side now, so both of you were lying, facing each other. 

 

This happened quite a bit in the two years you lived with him here; you’d just lie, facing each other and chatting constantly. You’d tell Gaster about your life before he possessed your mind, and he’d tell you about his life before he was ripped from time and space. It normally ended in him telling you stories about his sons, and you laughing at their silly antics and calling Gaster a great father. He would normally flush black at this, and either end the conversation, or tell you that you’d probably be a great parent one day as well,  _ “What, with how patient you are with me.”  _ The conversation would peter out after this, and one of you would normally cough, and retreat.

 

But now, it felt a bit different. The light fluttering in your chest and stomach whenever you had these conversations with Gaster had changed; it felt deeper now, like a soft candle burning steadily in your heart, warming your very core and making you feel... at home. 

 

“Sans could probably do the same thing with Resilience.” Gaster continued, lifting your conjoined hands from by your side to between you and Gaster’s face. “He could help,” Gaster reiterated, the little lights in his eyes shimmering. 

 

You believed him, and nodded softly. “I’ll try,” you promised, and he smiled, leaning forward till he could press his forehead to yours. 

 

“ _ My son _ !” He whispered, and you huffed again. 

 

“Your son.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *kisses and hugs* 
> 
> Everyone be like: .... aRE theY DAtinG? Or nooOOOTT??? 
> 
> The answer is no. They are not. But.... well...


	5. A letter to Sans, and a courting request

~~Dear Mr. Serif,~~

~~How are you doing, good fellow?~~

~~Dear Mr. Serif,~~

~~I hope this letter receives you in good condition.~~

~~Dear Mr. Serif,~~

~~Heyyyyyyy Sans what’s up nerd!? Heard you got Determination in the _bag!_~~

~~Dear Mr. Serif,~~

~~Do you remember me, by chance? I’m the epileptic nerd from the library two years ago? Yeah! Remember me? Well I heard you got the whole Determination thing down, and I thought maybe possibly just maybe you could help me with a teensy little problem?~~

~~Dear Mr. Serif,~~

~~No time to explain, I need your help.~~

~~Dear Mr. Serif,~~

~~FUCKING WHY ARE LETTERS SO HARD TO WRITE GODDAMNIT~~

~~Dear Mr. Serif,~~

~~Please ignore this letter because it’s probably shit god FUCKING DAMNIT, KILL ME.~~

 

_Would you let me try? I have an idea._

 

No, no you could do this. It was just a letter to Sans. It really wasn’t that hard, you _knew_ this guy!

 

Dear Mr. Serif,

Fucking.

 

Dear Sans,

It’s me, the epileptic, remember? Yeah I’m awake now, and I need your help.

 

_How many letters do you think he gets a day now, what with being a famous scientist and all. This could not get to him._

 

Well fuck a duck and call you an animal! You tossed your pen across the desk; it clattered against the wall and fell between the crack, probably to join all the other utensils in their doomed existence of darkness. Huffing, you slammed your hand on the 9th piece of paper and swiped it away from you, dropping your head where the paper laid just a moment ago. This should be _easy!_ Sans was _easy_ to talk to! Why was it suddenly so difficult? You _knew_ you could do it, but still!

 

_You’re trying to talk to a famous scientist now. Of course it would be nerve wracking, silly!_

 

You huffed again, grabbing the paper and crumpling it in your hands, tossing it toward the trash bin by the side of your desk. You grabbed another sheet, and placed it in front of you.

 

_Really, darling. Please let me try._

 

..... Fine. You sat back, raised an eyebrow, and waited. After a good 15 seconds, you could feel a smug grin begin to form on your lips as Gaster realized he couldn’t just write on the paper; being incorporeal had its setbacks. You could feel his annoyance.

 

 _Open MS Paint._ He directed, and after a moment, you humored him.

 

_Good. Now use the circle making tool. Make a circle. Copy and past another next to it. Good. Now draw a circle over the circle to the right. A little to the left. Down. Down. Good. Use the bucket tool to fill in the top circle, where they don’t overlap. Good. Now disconnect the black part from the half circle..... Use an eraser. Good. Now get rid of the top circle. Good. Now just add 2 lines, one going up on the left, and one going down from the-_

Oh god it’s his face!

 

_It took you a while._

 

You stared at the picture as you finished the line under the right eye, and blinked. Why the fuck would- that’s not even a letter.

 

_Exactly. It’ll get past the secretary easily. No secretary censors pictures, they’re innocent, and this will get the point across._

 

You resigned yourself, folding the paper into a neat tri-fold, pushing it into an envelope and sealing it. Why the fuck can’t you just email him?

 

_I don’t trust emails._

 

...

 

Whatever. You jotted the address on the front, and a return address on the upper right. One stamp, and it was ready to go! You plopped it in your lap, and reached down, unlocking the wheels of your chair and grabbing the oversized circles, pulling yourself away from the desk and turning around. A quick wheel across the floor, and you were in the hall, looking in both directions before turning toward the front door.

 

Rattle rattle rattle. Rattle rattle rattle. Chunk. Kathunk. Shhhh.

 

You reached the front door, placing your brakes on for a moment to unlock and open it. Two loud “KACHUNK’S” later, and you were out the front door and turning around to close it again. Sigh.

 

The driveway, the sidewalk, and finally the mailbox.

 

The Kchick of you locking your wheelchair again.

 

Open, place, close.

 

You could see a neighbor across the street, a burly red bull-shaped monster waved at you with a smile. You waved back. Satisfied, he turned and left you; you began your slow cart back to your house.

 

Life was simple like this. Everything took more time than it used to. There was no more running across streets or randomly going out on your own. No, life was boring now, but at least you had a purpose. You had to turn the wheelchair around to grab the front door to close it behind you. With a little click, you let out a sigh.  Before the incident, you were content with your life. Happy. Sure, you couldn’t drive, and your abilities were limited because of your seizures, but you had _freedom,_ you had _control._ Now, you were subject to not only other people's’ schedules, but even floor plans of disability-unfriendly buildings. The library the other day had aisles too small, and the ramp was of ill-repair. Busses were a _nightmare._

 

But, you could handle. It just took some getting some used to!

 

 _This is okay,_ you keep telling yourself, looking down at your dud legs. _I’m okay._

 

_You’ve been working on finding the best way to reach Sans for quite a while; I believe a break is in order._

 

You huffed, wheeling around and looking at the kitchen, agreeing with Gaster.

 

You had a glass of wine you’ve wanted to break into for quite a while. Tooth brought it home a few days after the cake with a wide grin, and then was called off for some “my mom wants me” business for the weekend. By the time they got back, the bottle was long forgotten. But now...

 

A few pushes, and you were at the kitchen cupboard, pulling out a long awaited Zinfandel and the bottle opener that hung on a nail right next to it. Ah. Convenience.

 

You placed the bottle on the leather seat between your legs, and twisted the metal spring into the cork. A quick breath, and you were pulling.

 

 _I hope your companion doesn’t_ wine _about you opening the bottle without them._

 

POP! A bit of wine spilled on your pants, but you were too busy silently moaning at Gaster’s pun to care. Like son like father, you guess.

 

 _I am nowhere near as bad as him, darling._ Gaster commented, and you huffed a chuckle. That was true. Gaster was calmer, more mature, softer, kinder. Sans wasn’t _mean,_ perse, but you didn’t think _anyone_ could match up to the overwhelming amount of care and concern that Gaster showed you on a regular basis.

 

 _Oh._ You heard Gaster’s voice in your head, you _felt_ his abashed blush. _I didn’t, I don’t_ try _to be... thank you._

 

You huffed again, feeling a warmth tickle at your chest. You smiled softly, nodding. There were very specific reasons why you loved Gaster, and his kindness was only one of them. You made sure to “tell” him the reasons why you loved him often. He deserved that much.

 

 _Be careful with your compliments, I may become spoiled and not want you to show your love to anyone but me._ Gaster said, voice light hearted and joking, but also deeper, sultry, and you were sure that if you had working vocal chords, you would have squeaked.

 

Instead, you let your face paint itself pink, and wheeled yourself across the kitchen toward the wine glasses, and grabbed one from a hanging hook, placing it on the counter and pouring yourself a glass. You always liked the soft glug glug glug of liquid pouring from a bottle, but right now you revelled in it; it distracted you from Gaster’s deep chuckle in the back of your mind.

 

You shook off his comment, reminding yourself that you had more important things to do than respond to Gasters few-and-far-between advances.

 

 _It’s only fair if the street goes both ways,_ Gaster countered, _You send my heart aflutter more times than I can count._

 

Ah. Red faced again. If Tooth came in here, they’d think you were sick! You took another sip of wine, drowning your blush in the light pink of the zinfandel.

 

You had more important things to do than respond to Gaster’s advances.

 

You had more important things to do than let a skeleton in your mind attempt to court you.

 

Gaster sighed, _you are aware that you can accomplish your mission and have a courter at the same time, correct? And what’s wrong with being a skeleton in your mind? I know you better than anyone in existence._

 

You huffed, amused and blushing. Sure, Gaster knew you better than anyone, and you had been pointedly ignoring the mutual attraction between you and him for quite a while now. He would probably be the perfect person for you.

 

But there was no way you could be the perfect person for him.

 

Gaster whispered your name, his voice pained and borderline impatient, chastising. _Why do you say that?_

 

Because it’s true. Gaster was so much more successful than you; he was a Royal Scientist who changed the underground, made their survival _possible_. You were a mute, paraplegic, dropout college student.

 

Really.

 

 _I’ve told you this before, and I’ll tell you again: Love does not know boundaries._ Gasters voice sounded older now, and filled with something that made your heart settle calmly in your chest. You tried to shake it off; this was at least the third time you’ve had this conversation with Gaster, and each time it got harder and harder to turn down his request.

 

_One date._

 

You shook your head,  heart fluttering. What would a courtship between you and a skeleton trapped in your mind look like, exactly?

 

_Let me show you._

 

You couldn’t let yourself get distracted! The sooner Gaster left your mind, the sooner he could start changing the world!

 

_Please. Humor me, ______. I’ve been a Royal Scientist nearly all my life; a man in love, I have not._

 

Your thoughts stilled; you swirled the wine in your glass a few times, trying to blink away the burning in your ears.

 

_One date._

 

You had things to do!

 

_We have to wait for Sans to get back to us anyway._

 

He could do _so_ much better than you.

 

_My Resilient One, I’m afraid you’re incorrect in that regard. I have never met someone as wonderful as you in my centuries of life. Please do not discredit my opinion anymore, I have been with you for what feels like forever, and have never once wished you were any other person._

 

...

 

_(A scientific approach to the examination of phenomena is a defence against the pure emotion of fear.)_

 

...

 

ONE date.

 

_That’s all I ask._

 

And with that, Gaster was gone from your mind, leaving you to wallow in your blush, stare at your wine glass, and wonder where that third voice came from.

 

Why was it so familiar, and yet so foreign?

____________________  
____________________

 

It was only about 10 minutes later that you had tossed the mostly full wine bottle at the front door, frantically attempting to reach your Hamlet Related friends before they slipped away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm... if you read this and not You learn to Live With It, thennn...uhh.... well... you might want to read YLTLWI as well cuz things might get a little confusing for a while if you don't.


	6. It's the same as chapter 14, if you know what i mean

Gaster was confused. 

Very confused. 

He was calmly relaxing in a chair he had summoned, drinking some Golden Flower tea and watching the expanses of everything float about the sky, thinking of possibilities for his upcoming date when a single coin had dropped at his feet. He brought his cup down from his lips, and stared at it as it spun on the ground, and finally ceased movement, a head looking lifelessly up at him. He blinked, leaning out of his chair and reaching for the coin, only to be interrupted by another, much more human hand intercepting him. The fingers deftly grabbed the coin, and then paused as the head connected to those fingers nearly bumped into Gaster’s. Gaster turned, and made eye contact with a pair of the most innocent blue eyes he had ever seen, frozen like a doe’s. The human was male, lanky, brunette.

“Pardon,” the stranger said, and Gaster started, pulling his hand away from the coin. The human’s face split into a smile, and he pulled the coin to himself, staring at it for a moment before proudly proclaiming, “Heads!” He paused for a moment, looking at the coin, and then his face fell. “I’m afraid...” He trailed off, looking away from Gaster, behind him. 

“So am I,” a second voice joined in. Gaster looked up to see a very angry looking, dark skinned male staring at nothing as he scratched his bearded chin. 

“I’m afraid it isn’t your day,” The first human said, pocketing the coin and standing. The second human looked to the first, and grimaced. 

“I’m afraid it is.” He replied, silencing the three companions for a moment. 

“Eighty nine,” the tall one said. 

“I’m sorry, but who are you?” Gaster said, bewildered at the intrusion. This hadn’t happened before. Ever. 

“ It must be indicative of something,” The bearded one mused, “besides the redistribution of wealth. List of possible explanations. One: I'm willing it. Inside where nothing shows, I'm the essence of a man spinning double-headed coins, and betting against himself in private atonement for an unremembered past.” 

“Well. That’s rather dark,” Gaster provided, realizing he had been ignored. The tall one looked at Gaster again, and shrugged. 

“Rosencrantz gets like this sometimes.” 

“Guildenstern!” The bearded man said angrily, making the taller one jump. 

“Yes?” The tall one answered, which seemed to only anger the short one. 

“No! You are Rosencrantz!” 

“Yes?” 

“Yes!” The bearded one, who Gaster assumed was Guildenstern, nodded in approval, and then turned away again, returning to his musings. “Two: time has stopped dead, and a single experience of one coin being spun once has been repeated ninety times...” 

“Well we do exist in a dimension where Time is not a factor.” 

“On the whole, doubtful.” Guildenstern continued, ignoring Gaster. 

“Oh come on!” 

“Or! A Syllogism the second: one: probability is a factor which operates within natural forces. Two, probability is not operating as a factor. Three, we are now within un-, sub- or supernatural forces. Discuss!” 

Oh! Gaster could discuss this! He opened his mouth to reply, but paused when the world around him shimmered. He blinked, frowning. Whenever the world shimmered like that, it meant you were having a seizure. Worry clutched his gut, and he looked around for some form of connection between this world and your mind. He could almost always find it; he could see the minor moments before you joined him, or before he could talk to you. And now- in the distance, shining in the darkness as a projection on nothing- now he saw just a bottle in your hand. 

Or was it two bottles? A beer bottle- no- a wine bottle?

“Not to heatedly,” Guildenstern grumbled when neither Gaster nor Rosencrantz answered him. 

“I’m sorry, What’s the matter with you?” Rosencrantz accused Guildenstern, pulling Gasters attention. Right. He still had people in his little area. 

“I guess... I guess I’m just afraid,” Gaster could hear Sans’s distant voice. Guildenstern seemed to hear it as well, as he looked up for a moment. 

“A scientific approach to the examination of phenomena is a defence against the pure emotion of fear.” His eyes flicked to Rosencrantz, and he held out his hand. Rosencrantz almost immediately reached out for it, taking Guildenstern’s hand. Guildenstern’s face relaxed a bit, “Keep tight hold and continue while there's time. Now - counter to the previous syllogism: tricky one, follow me carefully, it may prove a comfort.” Guildenstern pulled Rosencrantz close, looking out into the distance, dragging Rosencrantz’s gaze in the same direction. All three, Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, and Gaster watched from your point of view as you stared at the bottle for a few moments longer than comfortable. Gaster nearly screamed as he watched you face a door- no, a wall? -and toss the bottle at it. It shattered against the surface. 

The projection dissipated. Guildenstern, seemingly unfazed, continued. “If we postulate, and we just have, that within un-, sub- or supernatural forces the probability is that the law of probability will not operate as a factor, then we must accept that the probability of the first part will not operate as a factor, in which case the law of probability will operate as a factor within un-, sub- or supernatural forces.” 

“Oh thank GOD!” Your voice ripped from behind the trio. Gaster whipped around, and upon seeing you standing there, burst into a righteous fury. 

“You IMBECILE!” He screeched, flying toward you in rage. He was halted almost immediately by a hand to his chest as you pushed him aside. 

“No time, Gaster. You can yell at me later.” You said, almost running up to the duo still staring into the abyss. “This is important,” You continued, stopping in front of the duo with wide eyes. Both paused for a moment, looking over at you at the same time. 

You felt your heart jump. Here! Right in front of you, were your two favorite characters! You could barely contain your squeals of excitement, taking a quick calming breath. You had a job to do. You had information to get, and you weren’t sure how much time you had before this pair was gone. 

Here. In front of you. Was Rosencrantz and Guildenstern from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, a play by Tom Stoppard, where the idea of a world existing between scenes of a play is the main topic of discussion. Here stood the duo that’s lived in this world since 1964. Their entire existence consisted of questioning and attempting to understand “un-, sub-, or supernatural forces,” which you now knew was THIS world! 

So not only were you meeting your two favorite characters, but these two favorite characters were probably the most suited to help you solve your problem! You stopped in front of the duo, and paused for a moment, listening to their prattling for only a second before you could grasp who was who. You turned to the bearded one. “Guildenstern!” You nearly yelped, startling the poor man from his frantic rants. In fact, both men jumped, and the taller one was first to turn to you. 

“Yes?” He asked, receiving an angry smack to the shoulder from his companion. 

“No!” Guildenstern chastised the taller one, turning to you, “Yes?” He parroted, and you couldn’t stop the giggle. It was a running gag for everyone but Guildenstern to get the two’s names mixed up. You refused to be one of them though. You turned to Guildenstern with a slight bow, and he nodded proudly at you. 

“Guildenstern, I know you may be short on time, but I am in dire need of assistance!” You pleaded. He stroked his beard for a moment, and then waved his hand at you, motioning for you to continue. Heh. Just like him to take things in stride. You took a step to the side, and motioned toward Gaster, who stood a ways behind you, both terribly confused and horribly furious at the same time. Upon sensing the attention of all three of you (Rosencrantz found Gaster lanky legs to be of utmost intrigue), he let his face fall to a neutral standing, and cleared his throat. 

“Hello,” He introduced himself, writing his shoulders, “I am Dr. W. D. Gas-” 

“No, no no!” Guildenstern interrupted Gaster, making your skeletal friend bristle. Guildenstern ignored it, walking toward Gaster with quite an adamant frown on his face. He circled the skeleton a few times, muttering “no’s” and shaking his head all the way. “You are not supposed to be here,” He said, holding one of his elbows in one hand, and stroking his beard with the other. “This isn’t right,” he continued, but then stopped, staring at Gaster. You almost laughed at how Gaster froze under Guildenstern’s scrutinizing gaze, eyes wide, but silent under the commanding man’s stature. “Why are you here?” Guildenstern asked, narrowing his eyes at Gaster. Gaster’s lips parted. 

“Is he here for the play?” Rosencrantz pitched in, eyes glittering. 

“Not now.” Guildenstern nodded his head in Rosencrantz’s general direction, to which Rosencrantz lit up in triumph. 

“Statement! One-Love!” 

“Not now!” Guildenstern’s head whipped toward Rosencrantz, who jumped in surprise. Ros blinked a few times, and then gave Guildenstern a guilty grimace. Guil just glared back, but his face quickly lost it’s sting while looking at his partner. In fact, it twisted slowly into realization, until he was muttering to himself. “No, no he couldn’t be here for the play,” He turned back to Gaster, who still stood there, frozen and confused. 

You, though, knew how this pair worked, and found yourself a comfortable seat on the ground. 

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern symbolized perfect scenario between the right and left halves of the brain, and their ability to solve any problem, subconsciously or consciously, when given enough time. Guildenstern provided thought, substance, fact, while Rosencrantz provided unique perspectives and distractions enough to maintain Guildenstern’s sanity. Guildenstern solved problems with pure reasoning and logic, while Rosencrantz provided emotional context and support. Together, they were the perfect partners, an unstoppable duo of problem-solving prowess, unfortunately tossed into a world with impossible problems. 

And yet they lived, mostly happily, for eternity, building and expanding off each other, supporting each other through thick and thin, through life and death and fucking Hamlet. 

Fuck Hamlet. Seriously. 

Either way, Proposing a question to this duo consisted of providing them a thought, and then simply sitting back, letting their combined genius work it out. And you could see this already happening as Guildenstern circled Gaster once more, and Rosencrantz flopped onto the ground, counting the tesseracts in the sky. 

“You’ve never seen the play before,” Guildenstern continued, making eye contact with Gaster. 

“The... play?” Gaster blinked. 

“What does that matter? Can’t he see it either way?” 

“No no! He’s not in the play, so how could he see the play?” Guildenstern explained quickly to Rosencrantz, who just pondered for a moment before responding. 

“Do you have to be in the play to see the play?” 

“Are you dumb?” Guildenstern shot at Rosencrantz, with absolutely no heart behind the insult. “How could you see the play if you’re not in the play?” 

Rosencrantz paused for a moment, tapping a finger to his lips, “Could you.... Watch it from the... audience?” 

“No!” 

“Statement!” 

“There is no audience!” Guildenstern yelled, his voice echoing into nothing as he waved his hands around. 

“Two-love,” Rosencrantz said, a bit quieter. His eyes sparkled though, and he looked ready to take on the challenge of a game of Questions with Guildenstern (Whether the poor man knew it was happening or not). 

“Do you see an audience?” Guildenstern waved wildly around him. 

“Am I supposed to?” 

“Why would you be supposed to see an audience that isn’t there?” 

“What if it is there?” 

“How could it be there if we’re the only ones here?” 

“Could they have come here?” 

“From where?” 

“What if they travelled from far away places?” 

“There are no far away places!” 

“Statement! Three, Love! Match!” Guildenstern fist-pumped the air, but Guildenstern seemed to ignore him. 

No wait. That was Rosencrantz. Rosencrantz fist-pumped the air, and ROSENCRANTZ ignored him!

No wait....

...

Fuck. 

Guildenstern... the bearded one! The bearded one was GUildenstern! Guildenstern huffed, looking out into the distance, “How could there be far away places if we all come from the same origin?” 

“Do you mean writing?” Rosencrantz provided hopefully. 

“What else could I mean?” Guil responded nonchalantly, lifting his hand from his beard for a moment and glancing at his seated companion. 

“You could mean Earth!” 

“Statement, one love.” 

“Ohhh,” Rosencrantz looked at his feet; Guildenstern smirked cockily for a moment before returning to his thoughts. Rosencrantz overcame his loss rather quickly, and perked up once again. 

“Could there be a far away place we did not know about before?” 

“How is that possible?” 

“Aren’t we simply human?” 

“So?” 

“Wouldn’t we have gaps in our knowledge?” Rosencrantz continued, standing now and walking to Guildenstern. Guildenstern nodded, accepting Ros’s logic, and then glancing to Gaster. 

“Where did you come from?” He addressed Gaster. Rosencrantz nearly jumped in excitement, staring intently at Gaster, who shrunk under the duo’s gazes. 

“Uhh... Earth?” 

“Statement! That’s not a real question! One Two Love!” 

“You either come from Earth, or you don’t; which is it?” 

“I come from earth!” 

“Statement! Two Three Love! Match to Rosencrantz!” Rosencrantz cried out, motioning toward his bearded companion. 

“Guildenstern.” Guil corrected. 

“Guildenstern!” Rosencrantz parroted. Gaster just looked at you, crying for help with his eyes. You just smiled. When faced with these two, unless you were Hamlet, there was no winning. 

Guildenstern turned back to Gaster, narrowing his eyes. “If you come from earth, and you are not writing, then how are you here?” 

“I...” Gaster paused, looking over at Rosencrantz, who was practically holding his breath. Gaster thought for a moment, and rephrased his statement to a question. “Am I supposed to know how I’m here?” 

Rosencrantz deflated; Guildenstern just hummed before continuing, “Are you dead?” 

“Am I dead?” Gaster recoiled, appalled at the blunt question. 

“‘Rrrrreppitition! One one love!” Rosencrantz exclaimed, pointing at the sky. 

“How could you exist here and there at the same time unless you were dead?” Guildenstern got closer to Gaster, staring him down. 

Gaster’s eyes widened, and he looked around, “Is here where people go when they die?” 

“Where else would they go?” Rosencrantz asked matter of factly. 

“I had no idea,” Gaster breathed. 

“Statement! Two Two Love!” 

“Are you dead?” Guildenstern repeated, staring pointedly at Gaster. 

“Repetition! Three Two One Match! 2-0-0! I’m doing well today!” Rosencrantz chittered. 

“I don’t believe I am,” Gaster responded to Guildenstern, who was patiently patting Rosencrantz’s shoulder. 

“Then!” Guildenstern exclaimed, turning away from Gaster. Rosencrantz looked over to his partner, raising an eyebrow as Guildenstern. “You must have come from another source!” 

“You really suck at this game,” Rosencrantz addressed Gaster. 

“An unknown source,” Guildenstern continued as Rosencrantz patted Gaster’s shoulder. 

“Another author?” Rosencrantz turned to Guildenstern, “Not Tom Stoppard?” 

“No no, not him. Not any.” Guildenstern turned to Gaster, “You are not a character, are you?” 

“I-.... No?” 

“Then why are you here?” 

“I’m.... stuck?” 

“How.” Rosencrantz asked. 

“I... had an accident.” 

“And?” Rosencrantz egged

“I got stuck here?” 

“How!” Guildenstern yelled angrily.

“I had an accident??” 

“And?” Guildenstern egged on. 

“I... got... stuck... here?” 

“How?” Rosencrantz asked again, eyes alight with mischief. 

“I... had an acci-” 

“It doesn’t matter!” Guildenstern interrupted, pacing now, “What matters is that you are here, you are stuck here, and you shouldn’t be here. What matters is finding why you are here specifically,” He motioned toward the ground, and then motioned away from everything, “And not there, and how to get you from here and not there to THERE, and not there or here.” 

“I... what?” 

“Why are you here.” Guildenstern demanded of Gaster, who was nearly hyperventilating now. 

“I’m stuck,” He answered again, only receiving an exasperated sigh from Guildenstern. 

“No, that is why you are here, but why are you here!” He demanded again, pointing to the ground below Gaster. “You could be there!” He pointed to the distance, “Or there!” He pointed somewhere else, “or there!” A third place, “But you are not. You are here.” He pointed to the ground, and then narrowed his eyes. “Why.” 

“Uhh,” Gaster stammered, and his eyes shot to you. You were rather amused at this point, watching Gaster flounder in such extremes was uncharacteristic and rather humerous. When Gaster paid you attention, though, so did Guildenstern. 

“Is it her?” He asked, whipping around and marching toward you. You hastily stood, not looking away from Guildenstern as his eyes scanned over your person. “Are you here because of her?” 

“I... yes?” Gaster said, and you nodded in agreement. 

“He’s with me.” You said. 

“How can he be with you if you’re not here?” Rosencrantz pitched in, sounding utterly confused. The three of you turned to him, each parroting a-

“What?” 

“Well?” Rosencrantz blinked, backing up an inch, “She’s not here! She’s there!” Rosencrantz said, looking guilty and slightly frightened. He quickly calmed down, though, when Guildenstern grunted in agreement. 

“That’s right!” He concluded, looking back to you. “You threw the bottle!” 

“Uhh. Yes.” 

“So you’re THERE!” He pointed to the empty space, and you had a feeling he was talking about Earth. 

“Uhh. Yes?” 

“But you’re here.” Guildenstern frowned. 

“Wow!” Rosencrantz yelped. 

“But you can’t be-” 

“You can be-” 

“At two places at the same time!” Guildenstern accused. 

“At two places at the same time?” Rosencrantz pondered.

“Uhh,” You floundered, eyes flicking to Gaster, whose smug grin at your floundering seemed vaguely familiar. Oh yeah. You were giving him the same face 3 seconds ago. 

“A SYLLOGISM!” Guildenstern shouted, stepping away from you and pacing now. “One. If you are there, then you cannot be here. Two. You are there. So! You cannot be here.”

“But-” 

“A syllogism to Parallel. One. If you are Here, then you cannot be There. Two. You are Here. So, you cannot be there.” Guildenstern paused for a moment, staring at the sky before continuing, “And finally, a syllogism to the second and third! One. If you are not here, or there, then you must not exist.” He turned to you, “You! Are not here, OR there. Therefore, you must not exist!” 

“I take offense to that,” 

“Let me continue, you’ll take solace once i’m finished. Final syllogism. The third, if you remember correctly; One. One that exists and doesn’t exist simultaneously must either follow different rules, or exist differently than the rest. An anomaly, if you will. Therefore, as you do and do not exist,” He paused, looking you up and down, “Then you are the independent variable, possibly something that exists outside or between the Here and the There.” 

“Just as Stoppard was!” Rosencrantz pitched in finally, excitedly. 

“Exactly!” Guildenstern announced, turning to Rosencrantz, who was practically bouncing up and down. 

“So she’s resilient!” 

“Exactly!!” 

Wait. 

“Wait.” You said, eyebrows scrunching. Gaster seemed to follow your sentiment as he took a step forward, stepping between Ros and Guil, facing you but looking at Guil. 

“How did you know she’s Resilient?” He questioned, eyes narrowing. 

“It’s simple!” Guildenstern answered, “There are only a handful of people that can do the impossible or nearly impossible. The Determined, and the Resilient.” 

“Determined people never fall down! It’s practically impossible, actually!” Rosencrantz provided, “For those with determinate qualities, Time bends for their will!” 

“But Resilient people fall down and almost always get back up,” Guildenstern continued, “For those with resilience, Space bends for their will.” 

“Time and Space,” Gaster breathed, as if that one sentence meant so much more than repeating what the duo just said. Silence fell over the four for a moment before Guildenstern sprang back into action. 

“SO!” He exclaimed, making all but Rosencrantz jump. 

“Yes?” Rosencrantz asked. 

“Let me get this straight,” 

“You might well ask.” Rosencrantz prattled in response. Guildenstern turned to Gaster. 

“You had an accident.” 

“Yes.” 

“You wind up here.” 

“In the flesh!” Rosencrantz answers for Gaster. Guildenstern nods, and continues. 

“In an attempt to escape, you reach blindly and wildly for the intangible thoughts of the minds surrounding you!” Guildenstern’s voice gets louder and quicker now; he steps away from Gaster, instead listening to the response coming from Rosencrantz. 

“It was a horror!” Rosencrantz bawls, covering his face with the crook of his elbow and fake-crying. 

“And every mind you reach for recoils and retreats from your needy hands-” 

“I couldn’t grasp a thing!” Rosencrantz weeps. 

“And you’re left alone-” 

“SO alone!” He wailed. 

“In this nothingness,” 

“It’s nothing to cry about,” Rosencrantz stops his crocodile tears, pondering.

“Trying to grasp at something-” Guildenstern continued. 

“Anything is nothing to cry about, if you think about it, because-” 

“And you thought-” 

“We all die some day! Why does anything matter?” 

“This is pointless!” 

“But!” Both Guildenstern and Rosencrantz said at the same time, holding up fingers and then turning on Gaster. 

“Something does matter!” Rosencrantz continued, a wide smile forming on his lips. 

“You found the one thing that could make a difference in your predicament!” Guildenstern continued to pace again. 

“Something that always makes a difference!” 

“You found someone-” 

“A friend!” 

“Who could take your assaults on their mind, and bounce back.” 

“A resilient friend!” 

“Someone who could successfully host you in their mind, and become a bridge between Earth and Here.” 

“You sure are lucky!” Rosencrantz pat Gasters shoulder with a wide smile. 

“Lucky indeed,” Guildenstern mused, looking over at you. You were speechless, still trying to wrap your mind around their speech. Gaster blinked a few times, and then smiled at you proudly. 

“There really aren’t many resilient ones, to be honest,” Guildenstern continued, looking you up and down. “A rare species, indeed.” 

“I’m lucky to call one my friend.” Gaster said. 

“You’re lucky to have found her,” Guildenstern corrected him, walking over to you and grabbing your chin. You almost protested, but his touch was gentle in it’s methodical, doctoral movements. “She’s the only hope you have of escaping this realm.” 

“Uhh,” you said, looking at Guildenstern with raised eyebrows. He hummed, letting you go. 

“Yes!” He announced, “The only way to escape is to use the bridge provided for you!” 

“How convenient that it’s right there!” Rosencrantz laughed, and then perked his ears up. “I say, do you hear drums?” 

Oh. Oh no. The drums! If your memory of the story line of R&G are Dead was correct, (and it was), then the drums meant your time was nearly out! 

“Yes, convenient,” Guildenstern mused, frowning, “But what would stop Here from pulling our skeletal companion back to it’s cold grasp? If it were that easy, then Dr. W. D. Gas would not be here right now.... No...” 

“They’re getting louder!” 

“No,” Guildenstern looked at you, nodding his head, “Listen carefully, Rosencrantz!” He addressed you. You nodded. “If you want to save you friend-” 

“Here they come! I say! It looks like an acting troupe!” 

“You must break the bridge!” 

And they were gone.


	7. "RSE"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooth opened the door to find you collapsed on the ground, surrounded by shattered glass and spilled wine. 
> 
> What else were they to do but call 911?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am trying to write, but 17 credits at the end of the semester is VERY time consuming. I'm so sorry guys!

You knew it was the answer. 

 

_ It’s not, though.  _

 

It was the only logical conclusion. 

 

_ Incorrect. It was the only  _ obvious  _ conclusion. There are countless more conclusions we can come to, if given time.  _

 

You looked up; the luminescent lights burned your eyes, but you stared anyways, counting the little holes in the segmented ceiling above your head. 

 

Little black dots in an endless sea of white. 

 

You hated hospitals. 

 

_ We both do, sweetheart. We both do. _

 

Of course, it was kind of expected for you to wake up in one of these goddamn beds; apparently, Tooth had come home about 30 seconds after you...ah...  _ dropped...  _ So they saw you collapsed on the ground, surrounded by broken glass and unfinished wine, and, as they do in situations such as those, panicked. 

 

By the time you woke up, you were strapped into a gurney and halfway to the hospital, Tooth gnashing their teeth to your left. 

 

When you shakily signed what happened to you, Tooth grew angrier and angrier. Proportionately, Gaster began to  _ remember  _ his anger, and you received 2 lectures at the same time. You decided that, once you got Gaster out of your head, that he was not allowed to meet Tooth. Nope. That’s Hell just waiting to happen. 

 

_ You deserved every second of it.  _

 

BUT you got answers. You were correct in your assumption that Resilience was the correct route to follow, and you just had to interpret what breaking the bridge meant. Which was easy. 

 

_ It’s not death. You’re just being ridiculous. And stubborn. And stupid.  _

 

Now, now. What a shame, you haven’t even gone on your first date with the skeleton, and he already thinks you’re stupid. 

 

_!! That is not what I meant!  _

 

You smirked. The door to your hospital room opened, and a very familiar doctor walked in, scanning over a clipboard. When they looked up and saw you awake, their eyes widened, and quickly shot toward the clipboard for a moment. “Oh.” A smile plastered itself on their face. “You’re awake.” 

 

You nodded. 

 

_ I don’t like them.  _ Gaster spoke in you head; his lack of trust was palpable in your mind. It sent prickles through your spine. You ignored Gaster’s misgivings, though; this was the doctor that greeted you when you first woke up. You had no reason to not trust them. 

 

_ Call it a hunch. I’m older than you, dear. I know fake smiles when I see them.  _

 

The doctor sat down on a chair at the foot of your bed, and placed the clipboard on the counter behind them. A syringe rolled off the clipboard, onto the counter. You watched it roll to a stop, alarm flickering in your mind. You mildly recognized its origin as Gaster’s, but you quickly agreed with his emotional surge. 

 

Doctors didn’t bring syringes into the rooms like that. They were always on silver trays with a bunch of  gauze and iodine or something next to them. On top of that, it was never the doctor that brought it in, but a nurse. 

 

_ And they’re never marked like that. Look. It’s got no label. Just... what does that say? I can’t read it from this distance. Get  closer.  _

 

You’re not gonna get closer while the doctor’s sitting  _ right there!  _

 

_ ____. The doctor may try to inject you with  _ whatever  _ that is, and I don’t feel comfortable with- _

 

“How do you feel?” The doctor asked, making you jolt. You looked up, and gave them a guilty smile, lifting your hand in the air and wiggling it left and right. The doctor nodded, quickly jotting down some notes. “I’m guessing tired, maybe a little bit of pain? You had quite a spill caused by quite a seizure.” You nodded; shrugged. The doctor seemed to twitch at that, frowning. “You really must take better care of yourself.” You shrugged again, giving the doctor a guilty grimace. They sighed. “It’s a good thing you’re here, though. You haven’t been coming in for your regular check-ups.” 

 

Oh. Right. Those. Tooth had been getting phone calls on your behalf from the hospital nearly every day, asking when you could come in for your “routine checkups.” You had blown it off for the first month because you felt fine, but as the phone calls came in more and more frequently, you had grown annoyed. 

 

You were fine, goddamnit! On top of that, you knew what was going on in your head: Gaster. So while they may want to check up on your health over and over to try and fix you, it was  _ you  _ who knew the final solution. They knew nothing, so it would be a waste of time. 

 

So you didn’t go. You never went. Eventually, Tooth gave up trying to coerce you into going, and just started ignoring the regular phone calls. 

 

_ Regular. Hah! More like incessant.  _

 

“Really, ____, you  _ should  _ be going to those checkups. They are crucial for your...” They paused, lips scrunching together, as if they were trying to think of something. “Your... improvement.” 

 

You touched your throat and raised your eyebrow. Was the doctor insinuating that they could fix your voice? Their eyes blinked a few times in evident confusion, and then widened in realization. “Oh! Yes! Yes your voice! The improvement of your.... Voice.” They looked off to the side, and you could almost swear you saw them glance nervously toward the syringe. 

 

_ I don’t like it.  _

 

Neither did you. This doctor... They seemed trustworthy when you first met them; they were happy you were awake, almost  _ proud,  _ but now they looked way too antsy, too secretive for a doctor. 

 

_ I’m taking the syringe.  _

 

Oh god no Gaster you can’t do that. 

 

_ I didn’t ask your permission,  _ Gaster’s voice was flat in your head; it unnerved you.  _ I don’t trust them, and I don’t trust that.  _

 

And all too suddenly, a wave of dizziness overtook your head. You closed your eyes, letting out a breath as the world spun momentarily. When you opened your eyes again, the doctor was looking at you with concern, and -you stole a glance to the counter- the syringe was gone. 

 

“Are you alright?” The doctor asked, sounding both worried and mildly excited. You blinked, and nodded. “Minor dizziness?” You nodded again. “Alright. Fascinating.” They reached back, grabbing the clipboard and quickly jotting stuff down. “How long have you suffered from spells of dizziness?” 

 

Shit. 

 

You grimaced. Do you lie? Do you tell them that this was the first time you’ve experienced.... No... 

 

You wagged your hand in the air. The doctor scrunched their eyebrows together for a moment before asking, “You only get it once in awhile, or it just started recently?” You held up one finger. The doctor jotted some more stuff down. “Well.” They stood, “Since we have you here, I’ll have the nurse schedule you for a new check-up appointment. I must  _ insist  _ that you go to thi-” They paused; they had turned around to look at the counter, and frozen, eyebrows scrunching in confusion. They looked left and right, eyes darting around, eyebrows furrowing until you thought they could hold a pencil between the folds of skin. “Where did-” They looked over to you. You raised an innocent eyebrow, and their eyes narrowed for a moment. You could see the cogs turning in their head, and almost sighed when they shook their head in disbelief, and turned toward the door. “A nurse will be in shortly to get you back into your wheelchair. Please come to the appointment that they schedule for you.” 

 

The door shut behind them with an audible click, and you let out a sigh, mentally cursing the skeleton in your head. 

 

_ Well? You must admit they were being ostensibly kind.  _

 

That doesn’t give him the right to  _ steal  _ hospital property! 

 

_ It does if it concerns  _ _ you _ _.  _ Gaster’s voice rang in your head, matter-of-fact and stubborn. It brought a blush to your face and a smile to your lips. You looked away (From what, you did not know. Call it a force of habit, to avert your eyes when something brings you embarrassed joy), and noticed your wheelchair. 

 

...

 

To hell with waiting for the nurse. 

 

___________

___________

 

_ If I knew what it was, I would tell you, but I am baffled.  _

 

You rolled the syringe between your fingers, the light from your bedside lamp bouncing off the cold steel and refracting through the rich, emerald liquid held in the glass cylinder. 

 

“RSE,” it said on the front, on one little white sticker, scrawled in sharpie. 

 

_ How unprofessional.  _ Gaster’s voice swirled in your mind, commenting on the little object you found on your bed when you got home. Tooth had (after they and the nurse scooped you up from the ground and got you in your wheelchair) unceremoniously dropped you off at your room and then fled to the kitchen to make dinner, leaving you to wheel yourself to the bed, and use the bar on the side to pull yourself onto the sheets. You had stopped, though, when the dark green caught your eye, drawing your attention to the little syringe. So THAT was where Gaster had sent it. 

 

Now, you were lying, holding the syringe above your head, just staring at the liquid,  _ wondering.  _ Was it dangerous? Was this what they injected in you to wake you up? What would it do to you if you stuck that needle in your arm? 

 

_ Don’t you dare. _

 

It hadn’t  _ quite  _ crossed your mind to actually do that, though. 

 

_ I wouldn’t put it past you, though. Please refrain from poking yourself with syringes filled with unknown liquids.  _

 

Well. Science didn’t get anywhere from standing still. 

 

_ I’m serious.  _

 

...Fine. You placed the syringe on your bedside table, clicking your tongue, annoyed. Sure, it was nice to have something in your person that might have answers to your predicament, but it was still annoying that you couldn’t figure out  _ what  _ it was, or how Gaster had even attained it. 

 

_ I used my magic, of course.  _

 

Well duh. Gaster had used his magic when you were dying in the burning building so long ago, but  _ how does that work?  _ You pondered. Gaster didn’t exist in this world, so how could his magic? 

 

_ I have a hypothesis for that, actually.  _ Gaster cut into your musings, drawing your attention. You raised an eyebrow, mind prickling in interest. Gaster continued;  _ well. I may not exist in this world, but I think some of my belongings still do.  _ Gaster paused for a moment.  _ Correction, I  _ know  _ they still do. I’ve used them before.  _

 

Images flickered in your mind; terribly large, ghastly skulls with gaping maws and boundless energy that sucked your breath away and sent shivers down half your spine. 

 

_ You remember them, then.  _ Gaster’s voice grew low, almost regretful at the shiver that coursed through your limbs. Yeah. You remembered them. You remembered them hovering on either side of your body like beacons of death, massive and dangerous, blasting an entire building to nothingness with pure, white hot energy.  _ They’re tangible channels for my magic. I call them Gaster Blasters.  _

 

And suddenly, they weren’t that scary anymore. You huffed out a laugh, face scrunching up. He named them after himself! And rhymed them!  **Gaster Blasters!** That is  _ absolutely  _ something Gaster would do! 

 

_.... I would appreciate you not mocking my naming skills.  _

 

He’s just as bad as King Asgore! 

 

_ I take offense to that!  _ Gaster sounded completely outraged and horribly embarrassed at the same time.  _ King Asgore is infamous for his naming skills. I believe my naming is rather clever! Gaster. Blaster. It blasts. And it’s ghastly. And my name is Gaster. It’s ingenious.  _

 

Ingeniously blatant. 

 

_...Please.  _

 

Fine fine. You’re dropping it. 

 

_ Thank you. Anyway, as I was saying, they are tangible channels for my magic, so I think I can use magic because they still have my magical imprint on them. The only thing they would be missing to function would be magical energy; I think they siphon it from you.  _ Gaster paused. You could feel him connecting dots and turning gears.  _ That would explain why you passed out two years ago: the blasts I used to clear the building out of the way were  _ _ exceptionally  _ _ large. Maybe the Blasters withdrew every drop of magic from your soul; enough to make magic-regeneration impossible without external help.  _

 

...That doesn’t make sense. You’re a human. Humans don’t run on magic. We run on carbon and carbohydrates and blood and physics. How could-

 

_ Sure, your tangible form runs on all that, but your soul, my dear, is still very much magical. Humans have an inherent amount of magic inside their soul that keeps them alive and moving, but most of the time, it is in such small doses that it has no physical manifestations. _

 

You blinked, scrunching your eyebrows together. Otherwise, you remained silent, imploring Gaster to continue, still not fully believing him. Humans with magic. 

 

_ Well? It was more pronounced before the barrier; the humans  _ did  _ have mages back then, remember? Now, I think it’s just used as a life force, really. Something to keep your soul shining, so you don’t fall down.  _

 

Fall... down? The way Gaster said it made it sound like something much worse than slipping. 

 

_ Giving up, perse. For monsters, it’s when we lose all hope, and our bodies cease to function correctly. Our output of magic drops drastically, and we fall into a coma-like state. It’s basically another form of death for us.  _

 

Oh. That sounds... horrible. 

 

_ It is. It happened a lot underground; monsters gave up, believed that they were never going to escape, or be happy. So they would just... fall. It happens much less above ground now, at least from what I’ve been able to observe from here.  _

 

Well. At least that means the Humans are doing SOMETHING right. 

 

_ True. But we are getting side tracked.  _

 

Ah. Right. What was the point of this conversation again? 

 

_ Humans having magic.  _

 

Right. Continue then. 

 

_ While monsters rely on magic for their tangible form, humans do not. When a human “falls down,” their soul does the same thing that Monsters do; they cease creating magic, or cut the magic creation to detrimental levels. But, as their bodies are made of matter, and the functions of their body are more biological in nature, they can continue functioning, at least physically. The lack of magic still has repercussions, though. Humans get depressed, need more sleep. Their minds are more apt to turn toward negative states without the positive influence of magic coursing through them. In worst case scenarios, when magic is depleted to dire levels, the human can also “fall down” like monsters do.  _

 

Like you did. 

 

_ Exactly. So the reason why you “fell down” was because your soul dropped to such a low level of magic, that it couldn’t even regenerate itself.  _

 

Because Gaster’s magic used up every drop of it. 

 

_ Precisely.  _

 

Your mind, without your permission, came to it’s own conclusions: the coma was Gasters fault. Before it could go any further, though, you shushed it. Sure, you fell into a coma, but you were  _ alive,  _ which would have been impossible without Gaster’s magic. Therefore, it doesn’t matter that the magic tossed you into a 2 year coma: a two year coma is an entire lifetime minus two years better than death. 

 

_ Your optimism is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.  _ You heard Gaster’s voice gain a softness to it, and felt the surge of compassion come from his general person. 

 

How weird it is, to  _ feel  _ someone’s love for you. 

 

You shook the thought away when you could hear Gaster chuckling at you. 

 

So what about these blasters? Where were they? How much energy did they use? How much magic could Gaster use through you before it threatened to put you down again? 

 

_ Here is where I would normally say that I am not comfortable with betting against your health in such a manner, but to be completely honest, I think your magic level is exceptionally high for a humans, and that I could potentially use quite a bit of magic without threatening your safety.  _

 

...Oh? 

 

_ Most certainly. I did lift you and Tooth simultaneously,  _ and  _ blast half a building to smithereens, while your magic output was hindered by how close you were to death, to bet!  _ Gaster pondered, voice sounding awestricken.  _ It’s not surprising though, if we put into account that you’re able to house an entire second conscious in your mind, and you have enough magic for your resilience to have physical manifestations in the form of your ridiculous ability to survive and bounce back. To think that all that magic just flows through you, unused and almost completely unnecessary! Humans are a marvel, to put it shortly! You specifically as well.  _

 

You blushed. You weren’t quite sure why, though, as having a large amount of dormant magic that you couldn’t tap didn’t sound quite like a compliment then more just a fact, but you blushed anyway. 

 

_ Maybe because I meant that you were a marvel, if I were to add an explanation.  _ Gaster teased, making your blush travel to your ears. The smug pride that exuded from Gaster’s consciousness after that last comment did nothing to help. 

 

You coughed. You decided that a diversion was in order. Meaning. Another question. Just  _ how  _ much magic could Gaster use? Yeah. That was a good one. You nodded to yourself, and then almost puked as the world suddenly began spinning and twisting around you. You crushed your eyes closed; your stomach jumped to your throat, and tears almost sprang to your eyes. And just as quickly, it was gone. You blanched, opening your eyes again only to let out the loudest scream possible at the sight of the giant goat-skull hovering right in front of your face. 

 

Luckily, the “loudest scream” for you sounded closer to a  _ very  _ long, possibly phlegmy exhalation. 

 

Either way, the volume of your mind and the volume of your voice were  _ slightly _ out of sync. While your voice portrayed the surprise and fear of a slightly nerve wracking jump from a 10-foot high diving board, your mind was a bit more...

 

WHATTHEFUCKISTHAT?!?!? 

 

_ It’s a Gaster Blaster.  _ Gaster explained coolly; you forgot how to breathe as the massive  _ thing  _ hovered right above you, almost filling the entirety of your bedroom with it’s sheer size. 

 

WHATTHEFUCKISITDOINGHERE!? 

 

_ Well, you wanted to see some magic, right? How much I can use?  _

 

GIANTGOATHEAD! 

 

_ Yes. That is a giant... Goat head. Astute observation.  _

 

INMYROOM!!!

 

_ Well? Where else would it be to show you the extent of possible magic use?  _

 

IT’S LARGER THAN MY BED! IT’ LARGER THAN  _ TWO  _ OF MY BEDS!

 

_ You are correct. It  _ is  _ rather large. My second largest, to be precise. It’s name is Penultimate.  _

 

The thing... Penultimate... wobbled in the air a bit; the dark eye sockets lit up with a dim white, and they flickered and moved till you were sure of two things. One; these  _ things  _ were alive. Fully conscious and relatively intelligent, with how it gazed at you. Two; it was gazing at you. Looking straight into your soul, it felt like. That fact did not detract any from the panic clutching your entire body. 

 

_ My Blasters have an amount of magic on their own, so they lived on even after I faded away,  _ Gaster explained,  _ But that’s about as far as their magic extent goes; living. I have to use your magic in order to communicate with them, teleport them, have them lift or move anything, or use their light cannons.  _

 

So that twisting dizziness...

 

_ Was a result of me communicating and teleporting Penultimate to here. I noticed that you had a much worse reaction to this than you did the syringe. I’m assuming the severity of your reaction is directly proportionate to the amount of magic used.  _ Gaster paused; you could almost  _ see  _ him stroking his chin pensively.  _ Hopefully, the reactions will diminish with practice.  _

 

You started. Practice? What does he mean,  _ practice.  _

 

_ Simple. Practice!  _ Gaster answered matter-of-factly.  _ If I am going to properly protect you, I need to have access to my blasters and magic without you nearly passing out every time I so much as lift a pencil.  _

 

_ Protect  _ you? You bristled at that; you could protect yourself, thank you very much! No giant goat heads and fancy teleporting magic needed! Plus, why practice like that when Gaster wouldn’t be part of your mind for much longer? That would just be a waste of time. 

 

_ Dear, may I remind you that you’re a mute paraplegic now.  _

 

.....

 

_ You most definetly have the soul and grit to take care of yourself, but on the physical side o- _

 

OKAY! 

 

You flailed your arms, pushing the giant skull out of your personal space and huffing. Gaster’s chuckle at your childish outburst only made you scrunch your nose and frown. The skull bobbed in the air for a few moments, but otherwise stayed still; it’s girth restricted its movement in a room of your size. Hopefully, it wouldn’t bash into anything. 

 

Your musings were cut short by Tooth’s voice echoing towards you. “Hey! I’ve got dinner almost ready! Gnocchi with alfredo... We’d have wine too, but someone wasted all of it being an idiot.”

 

Twang. 

 

_ Ah. Have I ever told you how much I appreciate Tooth’s sense of humor?  _

 

You don’t really want to hear. 

 

_ A lot. I like it a lot.  _

 

You sighed, lifting your hand to the headboard. Tooth hadn’t asked you a question, so it was rather difficult to continue a conversation from across the house, but you still had to tell them that you were listening. So you wracked your knuckles on the headboard a couple of times, elbow bumping into the massive white skull still commandeering 90% of your bedroom air space. 

 

_ Oh. Sorry, wait a moment please.  _

 

A swirl of dizziness, and the skull was gone, replaced by a much smaller, but equally terrifying equivalent, which was now nuzzling into your neck in something not unlike affection. You were soon shoving that thing out of your personal space as well, letting out wheezing breathy laughs; it tickled! It tickled! Gaster started in surprise, then chuckled. The smaller blaster doubled its efforts to find every ticklish spot on your neck, and you were beginning to think they were in cahoots. You were pushing the skull away with your arms, wheezing for breath. 

 

This is YOUR magic he’s using to tickle you! Mutiny! MUTINY! 

 

Gaster’s chuckle broke into something much more mirthful; full peals of laughter rang through your head, and you couldn’t maintain your concentration on keeping the blaster at bay, apting rather to lapse into stillness, just listening to the musical concert that was yours and yours alone. The blaster didn’t move much though, as its commander, in his fit of glee, had forgotten to command. 

 

“Do you want it out here, or in your room!?” Tooth’s voice called again, breaking the spell you had fallen under, and snapping Gaster from his laughing fit. A moment passed in silence; the blaster stayed unnaturally still in the air. “Hon??” 

 

Oh. Right. 

 

_ Knock! Knock!  _

 

“Alright! I’ll be in with plates in about 10 minutes!” Tooth responded, and then fell silent. 

 

You sat in the wakes of Tooth’s voice, staring at the blaster, and coming to a soft conclusion that the thing might be slightly cute. When it tried to nuzzle you in response, you let it, wheezing out a laugh again as it pushed you slightly to the side. 

 

_ Such a shame.  _

 

You stopped, scrunching your eyebrows together. A shame?

 

_ One of my favorite sounds in the world is your laugh.  _ Gaster’s voice throbbed with sadness, and an overwhelming sense of loss passed over you like an unpleasantly warm gust of wind, churning your stomach in its wrongness _. And now... _ Gaster continued, voice sorrowful.  _ Now it’s just a hapless echo of what I hear in your dreams.... _ He trailed off for a moment; you could almost see him looking away from you, drooping his head and wringing his hands together.  _ I feel like I could say I’m happy that only I get to hear that melodic masterpiece... but... The world feels like a darker place without your pealing laughter.  _ He paused again, and that wave of loss hit you once more. You wondered if it was his, or yours, or both, but it still hit you either way. Your lack of sensation below your waist was suddenly much more prevalent in your mind, and each breath you took sounded distorted to you; a raspy wheeze that you could never be quite sure was made up in your head. Was each breath you took this loud, or were you hypersensitive? Wouldn’t Tooth get annoyed with even your breathing? Wouldn’t  _ everyone?  _

 

Of course they would. You were half a person now. You could feel the tickling in your nose and the tingling in your eyes, and you did nothing to stop the tears from spilling onto your cheeks. 

 

_ My dear... _ Gaster’s voice rang in your head, both a welcome friend and a horrid reminder. He twitched at that, voice growing solemn.  _ You know Tooth would never find you annoying. You are their cherished friend! The fact that they dropped everything for you should be enough to prove that.  _

 

Twang.  

 

_ Oh. That did not come out right. What I’m trying to say is that Tooth... And I... we could never find you as any less than the perfect companion you are.  _

 

Perfect. Feh. You pushed the nuzzling blaster away again, and tried to roll on your side. It was nearly impossible with your lower half being dead weight. Your futile attempts had you flopping back in the bed, head smacking into the pillow, legs unmoving. You were stuck on your back, staring at the ceiling, hate boiling in your throat. You were done with this. You were always one to bounce back both physically and mentally from hardships, but _this..._ this was _just too much._ How were you supposed to jump back from something as life-changing as this? How were you supposed to continue on all happy-go-lucky when you couldn’t even put on your own pants?

 

No...

 

_ My dear...  _ Gasters voice sounded worried, nervous at the steady stealing of your mind. You ignored it. 

 

_ Please stop; whenever you start thinking like this, you come to some ridiculous pair of ultimatums, or you do something absolutely ludicrous.  _

 

In your mind, there were two solutions: Get better, or die. 

 

_ That’s untrue.  _

 

If you got better, you could continue searching for a way to get Gaster out of your head safely. If you died, then the bridge would presumably break, and Gaster would exist again. 

 

_ Please cease this train of thought.  _

 

Your eyes trailed to the syringe you had placed down only a while ago. It’s deep emerald liquid echoed with the doctor’s promises of “improvement.” 

 

To be completely honest, you didn’t  _ want  _ to die. You loved Gaster. You loved Tooth. You enjoyed the small beauties in the world. You loved a good book, you loved your small conversations, you loved the sound of wood when you wracked your knuckles on it... No. Death did not appeal to you. What  _ did  _ was promises of improvement cased in glass and needles. 

 

Minus the sketchy doctor. 

 

_ Cue the ludicrous idea. We still don’t know what that stuff is!  _

 

Yes, but what help would you do to a sketchy doctor dead? This syringe... you were almost 100% sure that it wouldn’t kill you. 

 

_ Even an inkling of a doubt is enough to pause when regarding your mortality.  _

 

Yes. But. You were Resilient. So you’d live. 

 

_ This stuff is created  _ specifically  _ for you. It could be catered to  _ counterbalance  _ your Resilience.  _

 

You looked at the syringe.

 

Gaster sighed in your mind; you could feel him shaking his head, resigning himself to your decisions. Good. He knew well enough now not to try and stop you. 

 

You reached out, grabbing the syringe and turning it in your hands, the label catching your eye. RSE....

 

Could that be.... Resilience? Could this be the same as synthesized Determination, but for Resilience instead? Your eyes were trapped in the deep, dark emerald of the liquid inside the glass. At your thoughts, Gaster’s mind twitched, and you were bombarded with images. 

 

Melted creatures, suffering smiles, abominations... Without being told, you knew what they were, sharing the databank of Gaster’s psyche. Amalgamates. Failed DTE research experiments. 

 

_ Please.  _ Gaster pleaded, but you assured him, holding the syringe to your arm. 

 

That was forever ago. Sans had perfected DTE. They would  _ obviously  _ not run into the same problems again. They’d be smarter this time. 

 

Gaster fell silent; you knew he was upset, but you tried your best to ignore it. You had to do  _ something.  _ And why wait any longer? The best results came from action. 

 

The needle broke your skin, and you pushed the plunger. 

 

...What’s the worst it could do? 


	8. A Physics Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader injects RSE into their arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Get a job" mom said.
> 
> So I did. 
> 
> 14 hours a day. Working the fair. 
> 
> Fuck. Me.

“It’s just Resilience,” you had explained to yourself... 

Colors. An abundance of colors. Colors you had never even comprehended, now sharp and vivid and saturating even the air! 

“My body already creates it,” you had reasoned. 

Your entire body buzzed; your lungs expanded, your heart pounded, your eyes widened. You could hear and see and smell and feel everything! 

“What’s the worst that could happen?” 

Everything was sharp, but smooth, there but not. After Images flickered around everything; your bed was here and there and there at the same time, your computer danced around the room, sitting on the desk in this corner, pressed against the wall in that corner, or sometimes missing altogether. Your hands were moving before you recognized it, reaching for the edges of the bed, pressing your hands against the bedside table, hoisting yourself up and out of the bed. 

You crashed forward and down, your head smacking into the ground, legs still uselessly hanging off the bed; you were sure, just for a moment, that you could walk! Your hands were pressing against the ground, moving you around till you were on your back, staring at the ceiling, eyes wide. 

Your body tingled, roared with energy, screamed at you to move! Use the energy! It’s too much! DO SOMETHING! 

“G-Hhhh!!” You choked and coughed, back arching as your hands clawed at the carpet to your sides, which flipped from both long and short hair at the same time, vacillating between rough and soft. 

I don’t know what to do! Gaster’s frantic voice hit your consciousness in waves that washed over your mind. Your head buzzed, each heartbeat bringing a new fuzzy crash of sensation against your brain, powerful and unbearable and

Euphoric. 

Your entire body buzzed with energy, pooling power that collected bliss in your head, pulled ecstatic tears to your eyes, washed over you in crashes of mind-numbing everythingness. 

You tensed with energy, your very fingertips shivered with power, and just as you were sure you couldn’t handle anymore of this overwhelming amount of sensation, it collected, somehow, pulling from your limbs and pooling into your throat, like heat, heat, HEAT, and then-

You screamed. 

Violent, raspy shrieks tore from your throat, garbled and breaking but loud and grating on your ears and wonderful! You could hear Tooth somewhere in the house shout your name, and begin running toward you; you could hear Tooth already running toward you, reaching the door; you couldn’t hear Tooth, they weren’t home. Tears spilled from the corners of your eyes as every yell ripped from your mouth like a call to the Gods, blurring the vibrant world around you as howl after howl left your lungs. It felt like the very air that left your lungs teemed with magic, filling your mouth with tingling, tickling something, and then spewing into the air with volume! You were! You were making noise! The incessant screeches coming from your mouth quickly transformed, turning into laughter that bubbled from your very soul. It left you breathless, staring at the ceiling, mouth agape as Gaster flickered in and out of your awareness. 

Dear! He whimpered; you could almost see him reaching out for you, panicked. Why, though? You felt... you felt-!! Your breaths were heavy as the energy coursing in your veins became more bearable, but still tantalized your every cell. Dear! Speak to me! You heard him again, but paid him no heed. His worry meant nothing to your over-ecstatic brain. Everything was still so sharp! You could see each tiny little hole in the ceiling dancing like it could be there, or there, or there! You could smell the remnants of all of yesterday's possible dinners in the air, you could hear the different timbres that played together to create the hum from your computer or none at all because it wasn’t on, you could hear Tooth’s frantic footfalls grow louder and louder, or softer and softer, you could feel each individual fiber in the indecisive carpet splayed between your fingers... Please! Gaster called your name, voice frantic, and then his consciousness poured from the little corners of your mind, spilling and flooding your brain till every bit of you could feel all that was HIM, and oh lord!

You could feel it pulsing through your entirety; For this one moment, you were no longer sinews and bones and blood, but one. Solid. Object. Your heartbeat was gone, replaced by this pleasant but erratic pulsing thrum that you inherently knew was pure magic, and you could feel it in your body, in your soul, flowing through the air like unseen channels leading to who knows where. 

You and Gaster, for just this moment, felt like one. 

We have to remove some of this magic, You heard Gaster again, and you were suddenly sinews and bones again, but the magic in the air remained, like some unlocked part of your brain now saw as Gaster saw. You have too much in your soul right now! It could be disadvantageous unless we remove it! 

“A-Ah!” You squeaked, feeling the magic in you twist and churn at Gaster’s prodding, transforming from aimless wonder and euphoria to something with a purpose, and then...

One soft shimmer of magic in a color you could not explain in words called your attention with its familiarity, and you -Gaster- reached for it. Your hand reached your peripherals, and you were somehow expecting to see the white bones of Gaster’s, but it was still flesh. Your own flesh reached out, and plucked the stream of magic from the air, and Gaster tugged. 

You felt the drain of magic from your own soul, a nearly nonexistent echo of the regular dizziness, and then there, once again, was Penultimate, slowly opening its gaping maw; fangs of the upper and lower jaws, large as your upper torso, slid past each other with a resounding “shhhhk!” 

“AAAH!” Tooth’s voice rang from the entrance to your room, and your head whipped around to see them standing in the door-frame, jaw open wide in horror at the skull-creature hovering over you like Death. They- Tooth cried out your name, hands reaching out toward the skull hesitantly, fearfully, but with a purpose- at this moment, were real. There were three, ten, fifteen, a thousand afterimages of Tooth splayed out in front of you, each one doing exactly the same thing, but ever so slightly different. 

Tooth would reach out for you, try to snatch you from the skull’s reach. But. In that one, Tooth was an inch to the left, and got caught in the incisor of Penultimate’s maw, somehow tearing apart as the beast blinks away, and you die. In that one, Tooth was a few feet closer, and grabs you away from Penultimate, but as they pull, the skull lunges, and it’s fang pierces your heart and you die. In that one, Tooth is already by your side, and tosses you across the room, away from the beast, and the energy in your soul continues its course, and your heart gives out and you die. 

But this one- The one with Tooth standing right there, their left foot 4 inches from the left side of the door, their right foot a foot from the right side, their hands just like that- This one was the real one. 

This one was the one where you survived. 

It was as simple as that. Every afterimage, every possible placement of objects that could happen at this exact moment was played out in front of you like some physics problem, where everything had to be just right in order for the ball to hit the dot. 

And you were suddenly a physics major. 

You knew they were going to try and snatch you away from Penultimate. You knew each of their steps would be a foot and 7 inches, that their hands would reach out, the left a bit further than the right, and you knew they wouldn’t reach you. 

The skull’s jaw snapped the rest of the way open, and then lunged forward, snagging you in it’s mouth, large teeth sliding under your back and knees, tearing holes through your clothing in it’s haste. Tooth wailed again, lunging forward as Penultimate lifted off the ground, you now clutched in its grasp. Right as Tooth’s hands reached out for yours, though, they were gone. 

Your room was gone. The house was gone. 

You were somewhere, for a blink of a blink of a second that's cloying familiarity rang alarm in your blissed out mind, and then you were unceremoniously dropped onto a grassy field that seemed to go on forever. 

You squeaked, eyes wide at the sudden change, but barely had time to register your new environment before your transportation whipped around, facing away from you, and unhinged it’s jaw. 

The power blissing in your veins collected once more, now flooding your chest until bliss became concentrated, pooling and pooling and collecting and collecting and it was too much- Too Much! TOO MUCH!!!

And then it was gone. Fled from your chest as if it were plucked, lifted and tossed, heading straight for the waiting animal-

With blaring sound and blinding light, the beast in front of you released the energy in your soul in the form of an all-too-familiar blast of white hot energy, tearing into the ground in front of it for forever and for no time at all, until just as quickly, it stopped, leaving you to finally sag in the grass, mouth gaping open, eyes staring at nothing. 

Dear! Gaster whispered frantically in your mind. 

That was... 

I’ve removed the excess energy, but i’m afraid that- he rambled, voice fading in and out of your cognitive capabilities. 

That was... 

-an overload such as that, your mind may be unable to continue creating-

THe world, without the excess RSE coursing through your veins, seemed so... dull! Colors didn’t scream at you anymore, instead being muted, fuzzy replacements of perfection. Potential stopped dancing, everything seemed so awkwardly set in stone that you felt sick to your stomach. Just as the computers danced around your room, shouldn’t this grassy area be both grass and dirt at the same time? Shouldn’t those grains of grass be here and there? 

-ous to you if the levels get too low, you could fall again. Gaster continued talking, but his words were so unimportant. 

You had just had more power than you knew possible. You had seen, you had felt, you had known magic in a way you never thought possible...

And...

You already wanted more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I do drug right? 
> 
> It's drugs.
> 
> DRUGS. 
> 
> Ohhh. fuck. Reader got drugs on the brain. I should probably update the tags


End file.
